Shut Up and Review

#28: Once Upon A Lie

I've read chapters 1-10, let's break it down about this.

Character: Claire - The main heroine of this story. When life and goals fail for this soon-to-be high school graduate, she always relies on her favorite novel, Swords and Roses, to whisk her away from reality and give comfort. But after being magically sucked into the world of the book, a newfound confidence and a potential love interest might not be so bad to stay rather than her real world.

Jo - The second main and best friend of Claire. Tired of living in South Carolina, Jo plans to pursue her dreams of being a rock star by traveling to another state and auditioning for a spot as Gallows Humor's lead guitarist, until Claire's book took her in as well. Not fond of everything, she now has a new goal in mind: escape and return home.

Plot:
I'm gonna be brief regarding writing before moving onto the plot. The usage of hyphens (or em dash), ellipses, and italics for stressing the word is sort of questionable. They said it's their writing style and I can understand, but sometimes not all readers would keep reading the story if they're off-put by the incorrect use of punctuation.

It's up to them, however, as I'm not a professional editor myself, I recommend asking one for their advice if it's fine or not.
Now for the main talk.

Chapter 1 started good but one thing, in my opinion, is that the passage from Swords and Roses Claire read is unnecessary. I didn't get how her feelings and the small part about the war against knights versus villagers connect with it. Unless it's foreshadowing the scene will happen in the future chapter?

It was interesting to learn how much Claire and Jo's personalities are different (both their world and Swords and Roses world). Like one's the sun while the other is the moon. Though in a way, when I read the story, they're more like mother and daughter than best friends because I'm telling why I feel that way.

After Claire got many college application rejections, she mostly feared talking about it to Jo. Never had the chance and I think she wants to stay a secret forever? The thing is, why? There was no implication anywhere that stated Jo hates Claire's failure. Part of me thinks it's Claire having low self-esteem that she doesn't want her only friend to feel disappointed, but since they knew each other in 6th grade, wouldn't she know Jo so much? Chapter 3 states (from Claire's POV) that Jo can sense whenever something is wrong and fixes it. So in theory, if Claire confessed, then Jo would have comforted her and figured out another way.
Another questionable thing is after the girls got teleported to Swords and Roses.

Chapter 6-7, they met a prince and his knight. Claire can recognize the world and even the mushrooms, not so much of the two guys. So would it mean the characters are not part of the written tale and it's a new route for the girls (sort of like those interactive games)? If yes, then might add a narrative part that Claire isn't aware of these characters despite reading the novel many times, word for word.

All that aside, I enjoyed the worldbuilding, overall plot, and bonus point on putting the trigger warning.
Overall, I recommend this fantasy story for people who like similar tales such as Inkheart.