Shut Up and Review

#15: A Myraid of Mysteries

A MYRIAD OF MYSTERIES by Alea Eve is a fantasy / adventure novel completed with twenty chapters and an epilogue. The blurb for A Myriad of Mysteries is as follows:

A day of celebration started as a day of disaster when Eirisinia, a light conjurer unable to perform conjurations, found out that her life was never safe inside the palace walls. She never expected that HE, of all people, wanted her dead.

What will she do once she finds out that dark conjurers are still among them and is now being opressed by her father for reasons unknown?
Armed with a talking dagger and accompanied by her one and only friend, will she be able to aid him in rescuing all the dark conjurers, defend herself against gruesome beasts called the Marticules, and discover the truth about herself and about the man who wishes to end her life? Will she be able to uncover a myriad of mysteries that surrounds her entire being?

Join Eirisinia as she unfolds secrets that lie in the past which will shake the very foundations of the entire kingdom and everything she and the people believed in.

Hi! So, to lay out the review: I write my reviews based on what I see first. I'll first be going over the story's blurb, and then go over at least two chapters. I read until I don't want to read anymore – the reasons for me stopping can range from the book just not being my cup of tea to general issues I had with craft and/or mechanics. At the end, I'll wrap everything up into final thoughts!

I am pretty thorough with my critiques, so please do not think you need to take everything to heart. Also keep in mind that this is a critique of the story, not of the author. I do my best to keep my criticism as balanced as possible, highlighting both what I like and dislike about the story. Alea Eve, if you have any questions for me after this review, please let me know in the comments or in a DM! I am more than happy to discuss my review in-depth with you should you want me to elaborate on anything.
Note to those who are on my (Pony/Siren) list: I apologize for the tardiness of these critiques. I was incredibly busy with school, but I finally have my degree (yay!) and will be getting to everyone in my list as quickly as I can!

Okay, with the disclaimer and note out of the way, let's get to it!

Before I formally start the critique, I want to just say that it is awesome that you are writing in English as a non-native speaker. That takes a lot of guts, and I think that's really admirable! Since I read your profile, I will point out specifically misspelled words for you, but if you have any questions about any grammar rules that I mention or anything else technical, don't be afraid to reach out about it. I'm more than happy to help to the best of my abilities <3

Also note that if there are regional differences in spelling, I will note that in any spelling corrections I make. Since I'm American, I'll have the US English spelling first, followed by the UK English spelling in (parentheses); I'm not sure which spelling system you prefer to use, so I figured I would offer both. (:
On to...

THE BLURB!
I think that this blurb needs work.
As it stands, I do think that the general premise of the book is laid out well in the first paragraph. We know that Eirisinia is our main character (I love the name, by the way!), we know that she's a light conjurer who can't perform magic, and apparently someone wants her dead. This is a solid opening! I also think that it is near the correct amount of information necessary for a blurb. I will give some more specific examples later on, but I think you have set the scene well within two short sentences.
The rest of the blurb, for the most part, feels like it is giving us too much information, but simultaneously too little information; however, there is one thing that I think is just the right amount: the talking knife! I think that adds an element of whimsy to this otherwise dark storyline, and it offers an expectation that the book isn't going to be a super intense political drama like Game of Thrones. It's a good showing of the fantasy you're writing – whimsical, but serious.