Chapter forty three.

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Y/n's Pov:

"Alright, first off, i wanna say i'm sorry

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"Alright, first off, i wanna say i'm sorry. I know i really screws the pooch on this whole, going back in time and getting stuck thing." "Oh my god, i can't believe it. The Five Hargreeves is not only admitting to doing wrong but apologizing for it?" i held my hand up to my chest with a fake smile and a gasp, of course i was teasing him. Even if Five acted like a dick head 98.9% of the time, that 1.1% is actually the sweetest. After all those years alone, i saw a lot from him nobody has, like him breaking down in my arms. The thing is, he hasn't in a long time and he rarely did, so when he is crying you know he's hurt. I hope i never have to deal with him crying again, not because i don't wanna help him, but because it hurts me to see him upset.

I wouldn't be able to keep myself sane if i have to hold him once more, last time i did, i almost broke down myself as he cried out in pain, he was scared. It was about a year after we got stuck in the apocalypse, he was fearful we'd never escape and save everyone else and he cried till he passed out in my arms, To this day i almost cry when i think about it. I know it sounds weird and corny but i do worry about him. After all of that, i know he's not ok. He barely had a childhood, shit he barely had an adult hood. He's spent the majority of his life trying to survive then the rest as an assassin and trying to save the world.

So of course i'm worried, and i'd be lying if i said i didn't love it. Believe it or don't believe, nothing.. you know, happened between us. We shared a few kisses or a little more but nothing too serious. As stupid as it sounds, i've never believed he'd love me in the way i love him. Maybe he liked me or maybe he does now, but i doubt it's anything serious. And how careless he seems sometimes he makes it hard to believe he cares, but i know he does. "Y/n?" i quickly come back to reality and rise my head up, all eyes were on me. "i.. uh.. yeah, yeah? Sorry." "You alright?" Allison spoke with concern but i tried to assure her i was.

"Yeah, i'm.. i'm fine. Just, what are we talking about?" i didn't realize i zoned out till i did, "end of the world, picture of dad, Kennedy." "Uh, huh. Continue talking about whatever you were, i'm good now." He nods slowly, "We don't know who or what sets doomsday in motion, yet. Could be Kennedy, could be something entirely independent.." God, now that image is stuck in my head. I can't shake it off, fuck, why'd i think of it to begin with? Damnit, damnit, fuck.

//Flash back//

We were lying on some clothing piled up as if it were a pillow, of course there was a wider pile of clothing to lie on in general, Five found some blankets left over in a building a few miles away luckily. I sigh as i stared up at the night sky, i wish we were out of here every day, but i've lost hope. I hear something that quickly catches my attention causing me to look over, i slightly widen my eyes as i notice how red Fives cheek was. "Five?." he swiftly turns his head and faces me, i feel sudden guilt as i spot the tears that streamed down his face, he looked terrible. "Five, I.." a sob whacked him and you could hear his cries.

"Y/n.. i'm.. I'm scared." I didn't know what else to do, so i pulled him up against my chest, i felt like breaking down with him; but i can't. "It's gonna be okay." "What if it isn't." his words were a bit muffled as his face was pushed into my chest, but i could hear him fine. "What if we're stuck here forever. I can't do this, Y/n.. it's so.. fucking terrifying." i part my lips, i've never seen him cry till now, the past year we've been here he's acted brave throughout it, he looked a bit in sure and fearful sometimes but handled everything well. Till now at-least. "We're gonna get out of here one day, Five. I'm sure of it." truth was, i'm not. Even i'm scared, but how i feel right now holding him as he cries, i don't want him to feel this way.

I can't let it out, i can't put him through the trouble. I have to be strong for him. I run my hand through his hair as he sobbed and i rest my head near his, "It's all gonna be okay." it's only 10 minutes in till his crying has died down, he's sleeping now. I smile weakly as i rest my head against his. I am terrified.

//End of flash back.//

"Y/n! Hello?" fuck i zoned out again. I look up, but my face felt weird, i quickly go to feel it and i feel the the tear that had dropped down my cheek. I widen my eyes, holy shit, i'm crying? "Y/n?" i hear fives words but they sounded blurry compared to the ringing that went throughout my ears. "Y/n. What's wrong?" i gulp as i hop up and rush to the bathroom. Fuck, Man. I quickly tug at the lock to make sure no one can come in, and i slide down the wall. I can feel the tears prick at my eyes, threatening to fall. "Y/n? Are you okay?" "Where's.. Five." "Right here." i look up as i notice he had blinked in.

"Y/n." he crouched down and balances on his knees, cupping my cheeks. "What's the matter?" "It's nothing, i'm fine." "No, it's not. Now, tell me. What's wrong?" i sigh, looking at the wall behind him, i didn't want to lock eyes with him or manage eye contact. "Just don't feel good today." i'm not telling him the truth.. why would i tell him i'm breaking down over some shit that happened 56 years ago? well, 56 for me, 44 for him. That sounds stupid. He sighs as he snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me into his chest. It catches me off guard, but i wrap my arms around him. "It's gonna be alright. Look, when i get back, we'll talk about this, and you can tell me everything that's wrong, okay? I need to go out, and i want you to stay back with the others."

I wanted to disagree, but i didn't feel like arguing so i just nod. "That's how i know something's wrong, you're agreeing to something I say." i can't help but chuckle. I hear the sound of whooshing as he blinks into the other room, lying me down on a bed. "Rest." "Mhm." He leans down and places his lips against mine, "Be safe, okay? Don't leave." "I got it, i got it." "One more thing." he rises up as he's obviously about to blink away, "Hm?"

"I love you."

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1228 words.

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