Glimpse of it all

My much needed sleep (Part 2)

3 days left...

I wrote a letter as I was too much of a scaredy-cat to tell my friends I'm not seeing them anymore.

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"HEY SHAWTY ITS UR BIRTHDAY- WE GON PARTY LIKE ITS UR BIRTHDAY-." We all sang to josh who was all shy to do anything so he stood there singing with us.

"Yo bro ur eighteen now. Mah man is an adult.
TOO BAD GOTTA WAIT TILL 21 TO DRINK."

Lucas gave him the sweetest bromance hug ever while teasing him.

"Happy birthday hottie." Kylie hugged him as well, tho not gonna lie he IS hot.

"Damn ur an adult now. Too bad it's the last birthday I'll celebrate with u-." I quickly realized what I just said so I went over to cover it with a big hug and piggy back ride.

"What da- what do u mean last birthday? Ur leaving kim?" He pulled me out of the hug as my mind started racing with things to cover up myself.

"Uhhh... PFT NO BUT UM... U HAVE COLLEGE RIGHT? YEAH UR GOING TO COLLEGE AH BUMMER." I scratched my neck as I felt my knees weakening and my sight going black slowly.

"Oh university. Meh I will come back on my birthday y'all aint missing that for no reason."

He said that tho all I heard was random babbling before i fell to the ground.

What seemed like minutes later, I found myself on a bench with everyone worried around me.

"KIM AHH OH MY GOSH U SCARED ME TO DEATH. Are u OKAY? How are u feeling?" Kylie ran towards me like lightning, straightening me up.

"Kim what the hell happened to u? Are u feeling okay? Do u need an ambulance? Josh call an ambulanc-." I interrupted Lucas before he could continue.

"Guys CHILL IM OKAY. And the fuck luke why an ambulance? I thought u were strong enough to hold me on ur back. RUDE."

I let out faint giggles to calm everyone down but deep down i knew there was no time left.

"Girl don't scare us like this again. We're not as strong as we look." Joshua had his arms crossed, upset at the fact I wasn't doing okay.

I'm gonna miss u joshy. I hope u know I adore u.

2 am of that night, I found myself again accompanied by no one but the moon, as I continued to write that letter, watered momentarily by the tears running down my face uncontrollably.

You all are probably wondering what's wrong with me.

I don't blame u i never told u.

I suffer from pancreatic cancer.

It hasn't been easy.

I've been diagnosed a year ago with late stage pancreatic cancer.

I just felt death was close.

My doctor has told me 10 days ago I had 10 days left to live.

My weight dropped dramatically tho i just hope it wasn't too obvious for my friends to notice.

Ever since, my nights has been nothing but difficulty breathing, vomiting and nonstop crying.

All that on top of the fact I'm forever leaving the only people that made me truly feel alive, they made me feel like I hasn't been just existing.

And I regret no meeting them sooner. I won't even I've enough until I turn eighteen.

I've never experienced the good things in life.

Last day on earth, I felt too weak to do anything. Too weak to even live my last day to it's fullest surrounded by all the best people in my life.

"Good morning everyone, I'm sorry but I'm not feeling well today. I can't meet up :/" i texted our group chat "MATERIAL GWORLS" which surprisingly the boys were okay with, and all I got was "read today at 12:34 p.m".