Two Tiny Feet (Teen Pregnancy)

Chapter 9:

Izzy's P.O.V

9 PM Jackson Lionel Xavier was born. 6 lbs 2 oz. I couldn't bear to look at him face to face... It took me three hours to even look at a picture of him. He looks just like me. with the exception of the ears, Skyler had big ears and he has those cute big ears. His face is chubby and he has light thin blonde hair on his bald looking head. I was told anyway. "Are you sure you don't want to see your son?" I shook my head no. "I think you should hold him... at least for a minute." I agreed and they brought him in for me to hold.

He was placed in my arms and I cried to the full extent. My dad took a picture for memories and he was taken back away. He cried when he left my arms. It broke my heart. I love him so much, I don't want to let him go. I can't stop bawling. "Izzy it's okay, you're making this choice for your son. You're so brave." Maci said hugging me. "I don't want to, I love him." I cried out." "You can do this. You can do it for him." I cried even harder. I knew it would be hard.... I just didn't know how hard.

*

Jackson was taken by Ryan and Brennan the next morning back to their home in California. I went home, and crawled into bed and cried. I know it's what is best for him... but he was mine for a few months, he was mine. I held his fragile body in my arms, and that cry when they took him away.... he looks just like me as a baby... I don't know if I can do this...

My phone buzzed and it was a picture of Jackson from Brennan. They had landed and arrived home in California. "Baby settled at home, gettin' loves from the dog." Their dog was cuddled up next to him on their bed. He's so precious, I'm glad I did it while I was strong... because if he was in my arms now, I don't think I could let him go.

"Izzy, are you alright, dear?" I heard my father ask as he knocked on my door lightly. "No." "Are you hungry?" "No." "Sweet heart, I know it's hard but you have to come out of bed sometime." "NO!" "I'll leave you alone." He mumbled sounding defeated.

That was MY son.... do you know how hard it is to give birth to a being and then give it away? I just gave him away... and it doesn't help the fact Brennan keeps sending me photos of Jackson over text message. I wish we didn't have each others numbers.... I know I'm saying this now, and I'll change my mind later but right now, I can't stand seeing him. It just reminds me of everything that happened yesterday. I gave birth... I had a baby... and he's not here with me. What am I doing?

I decided I'd try and call Skyler, at least tell him our son was born and what had happened. "Hello?" "Skyler? It's Izzy...." "Oh god, what do you want?" "I just wanted to let you know that our son was born yesterday, and he's now residing in California with his new parents." "You gave him away?" "I can't be a single parent, it was what was best for him." "Does this mean I can come back to Florida?" "What?" "I only moved away because of the baby, but if the baby isn't there, I can come back." "You disgust me." I hung up.

I called Maci. "Maci..." I said with a tear in my eye. "Izzy? What's wrong?" "I can't do it anymore Maci... I can't." "Can't do what Izzy?" "I can't do anything anymore." "You can Izzy. It's hard I know, but you can get through this. I promise. Do you need me to come over and get you? We can go out and do something fun." "I don't want to do anything fun. I don't want to do anything at all." "Izzy... don't act like that.... Don't say that." "I'm sorry Maci..." "Why are you sorry?" "I'm just sorry..." "Izzy, why are you sorry? You're scaring me..." "I've got to go. I'm sorry." "Izzy no wait..."