Hello soulmate (Avengers X OC)

17 - Steve

TW: Heavy NSFW, self hatred about weight.

Steve's eyes rolled over her body. Everything in him demanded him to do it, take her. He had protection, he had just showered. There was just two issues...

"I don't want to do this if it's to finish what he started"

"What?...no that's not...." Trisha took a step back. Instantly feeling like this was a bad idea. All the dark thoughts that fought to consume her began playing in her head. 

"You have no idea how much I want you. When I turned thirteen I didn't even think I would get a soulmate, then your butterfly showed up and I began to imagine how you would be. How you would sound. Then the war happened and I woke up in this century thinking I would never get to see you. Then when Nat showed me her mark I knew everything I went through had to happen so that I could finally be with the woman I'm meant for." Trisha tried to listen, tears built up behind her eyes as her mind kept screaming the negative words bullies had told her, her entire life.

"I've looked for you since then. When I wasn't on missions, Bucky and I looked at bars and clubs and museums for you. I love you, I know that I do. But I don't want to do this..like this" Trisha looked to the floor choking back the pain his words brought. 'He doesn't want me...they were right...'  

Steve wanted her first time to be perfect. He had a plan. A beautiful movie night picnic on the rooftop balcony. Their first time would be under the stars, just the two of them. Something romantic and special, like every woman deserves, like Trisha deserves.

Trisha bent down grabbing her dress, pressing it against her chest to cover herself. The words he said barely processed in her mind and the words of her past made their way to the front. The disgust of her size, her weight, her skin color. The words of her father that she pushed away so often. "I...won't bother you then"

"No..Trisha" He stepped forward putting his hand on the door to stop her from leaving. He didn't want to hurt her. This wasn't what he wanted at all. If he could only make her listen, make her understand. 

He cursed himself for not practicing before hand. He knew when it comes to woman he always had trouble, always couldn't keep his foot out of his mouth. He wasn't smooth like Bucky, he was nervous and scared. It didn't matter what he looked like now, in his heart he was always that lonely boy that would never get looked at by anyone. Even with Natasha is he was mess, he never understood how she put up with him.

"It's okay Steve.." Her voice trembled. 

"No that's not..I want you.."

"Just not enough" She whispered, her voice cracked and Steve could see a tear fall down her cheek.

"Don't do that. I didn't say that" 

"You don't have to." She turned her head to face him. "From the moment I met all of you it's taking all my energy to not jump your bones. You were fully clothed and across the damn room. The moment you touched my hand I nearly climaxed, just from the warmth of it. Yet here I am half naked and you..." Tears streamed down her face.

"Trisha..." He pleaded. He couldn't believe he made her feel this way, it wasn't his intention at all. She looked back at the door unable to look at him anymore, if she kept looking at him she would forgive him and she deserved more than that.

"Move your hand Steve." It wasn't a request. It was an order. She was hardening up to him, breaking his heart into pieces.

"Not until we talk"

"We talked, I just want to be alone now"

"I didn't want to hurt you. I want to bond with you, I want to do this.. all of it." He tried telling her, he wouldn't move his hand, 'she has to understand...'