The Magnolia Café

Chapter 47

I wake up and see Connor looking at me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Great," I yawn.

"Really?"

I nod. "I told you last night. I'm fine."

"But you weren't. I never asked before because I didn't want to pry. Because I didn't want you to think about whatever it what was that happened, I could see how traumatized you were. God dammit, you were so shocked that time on Halloween! You can't possibly think I forgot about that?" I've never seen Connor so agitated. "But now I want to know. I don't want you to share that burden alone. What really happened between you and that guy?"

"I told you what happened. We were together for three years, we got engaged and he disappeared without explanation."

"If it had been just that, you wouldn't've been in the state you were last night."

I sigh.

"I'm just worried about you, Isabella. I'm sorry if that upsets you."

"I'm not upset. It's just—" I start sobbing and turn my face away from Connor.

"Don't. You don't need to do that with me. Just look at me."

I snuggle back in his arms, just like last night.

"Until I saw him last night, I hadn't even fully realized the severity of the situation. Only when I heard his voice. That was when all the pieces fell into place."

"What do you mean?" Connor places his chin on my head and my nose is right by neck. He smells nice, and I feel safe.

"My relationship with Peter was far from perfect. No relationship is, but it worked, or so I thought. I didn't realize this at the time, but he was abusive, especially psychologically abusive."

"Did he ever hit you?"

"No. Not exactly. He would often grab my wrists and I would get small bruises. Or if I didn't want to have sex with him..."

I can't keep going. I can't hear myself talk about the sordid details, and I don't want Connor to hear them. Rape within relationships and marriages happens, sadly. For me, it wasn't that at first. It couldn't be. We were together; we were in love, so it couldn't be... I was the one being too sensitive about it.

Now I see how wrong I was. I just wished I had realized sooner. It was never my fault. It's never the victim's fault.

Connor clenches me tightly against him. "If you keep doing that, I won't be able to breathe," I chuckle.

"I don't plan on letting go anytime soon." He kisses my head.

"But most of the abuse was psychological. He's charming and manipulative. I always saw that in how he treated others, but I thought he didn't do it with me. Guess I was wrong. It started with small comments and critics. He said something about what I was wearing, and I thought he was just giving his opinion. He said something about my hair, and I thought 'oh, nice he reminded me I need to book an appointment at the hairdresser'. Stuff like that. He was jealous, and I thought that meant he cared. It was my first serious long-term relationship. I didn't know any better. Before I realized I was isolated, I didn't do anything without asking him first—" my voice cracks.

"It's okay. You don't have to keep going. I understand enough now."

"No. I want to talk about it. I should've talked about it sooner. I've talked to it with my therapist, but I want you to know too. At least some of it. We are together and you need to know that a part of me is forever scared by what happened."