twenty three

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authors notes: so erm.. ngl i feel very unsafe at home so im currently trying to move out so apologies if updates aren't as frequent or good! uhm.. i think school has started for some ppl, so yay, i think? sorry if this update is a bit weird my beta reader was sick w covid !! she's still getting better but she's still very silly dw.

oh yeah for some reason ive never said this in the fic but: venti has undiagnosed adhd so like. go quirky boy! go!!

lily qotd: xiaoven fics are so funny bc its like venti is all "oh nobody will ever love me as much as i love them" and xiao's just like "i would lay my life down for you if it meant you would be happy" so Like.

cws— panic attacks, dysphoria, mentions of killing. lmk if i missed any!

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venti’s not sure about why exactly he was so excited to go to the mall in the first place. maybe he was remembering his past feelings for how he’d usually feel for the mall– happy and excited to just simply walk around and shop, but now that he saw the two parked suv’s in front of the grocery store, his legs shake as he stares at the cars being packed up and he knows soon he will have to go.

venti watches as xiao helps dottore pack up the car and he doesn’t miss the way that dottore seems to send him sly glance his way as if he knew something that venti didn’t. dottore shoves another box into the suv and watches as xiao backs up next to venti and slams the trunk door loudly. 

“are you okay?” xiao asks softly so as to no one else but each other could hear. 

“uh,” venti begins as he looks behind him to see diluc getting in with the axe in hand, “i don’t know. i’m just scared that it could happen again. i don’t want to lose another three years of my life.”  

"as long as i'm here with you, nobody will hurt you." 

venti feels like throwing up at the sound of xiao's words– he wants to believe him. he really does but xiao has no prediction of what could possibly happen to them. he's not an all knowing being, he's just xiao. he's just some guy, really. 

venti hears the slam of multiple car doors but he's too focused on not throwing up on xiao at that very moment. he can feel multiple pairs of eyes on him but all that matters is xiao in this very moment. 

xiao watches as ajax rolls the window down from where he sat inside the car, "what's going on?" 

xiao looks to venti, who still seems to be panicking in his head. he was never great at comforting people but he had to try for venti. 

ajax seems to understand what's going on but they don't have time to comfort people, they had to go. 

"get him in the car, we need to catch up with the others," ajax says, the sound of his thick russian accent on his tongue not going unnoticed by xiao. 

xiao looks to venti, who is gasping loudly as he clutches onto his own clothing and xiao swears he can see tears trailing down his cheeks. he'd never seen the man like this before, he didn't know how to help. xiao felt useless, for one of the few times in his life. 

"we… we need to go, venti." xiao whispers to him as he tries his best to blink away the tears welling in his eyes for the other man. 

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