Exemplum (UNDER REVISION)

Through Estella and Luna

ISABEL

"You good?" I asked Thirdy when I saw him staring blankly at nothing. He snapped back when I tapped his shoulder. He turned to me.

"I'm good. Just.. disappointed," He sighed. I sat beside him. We were admiring the night sky.

"Why does it have to be like this, Bei?" I didn't talk. Hinintay ko s'yang magsalita. We were both going through one of the longest tunnels in our lives. Some says, 'there's always a light at the end of the tunnel'. Unfortunately, we still don't see it.

"Sa'n tayo nagkulang? Ano ba pagkukulang natin? Hindi pa ba sapat 'yong binibigay natin?" He asked.

"Hindi tayo nagkulang. Hindi lang sila nakuntento," I answered. We were talking about our exes who both cheated on us.

I wouldn't have walked away if I didn't love myself enough. I wouldn't have find the courage to leave the situation I don't deserve if I didn't have enough respect for myself. I gathered all my strength from loving myself, knowing my worth and respecting myself to be able to leave what I do not deserve, and what I couldn't control.

"How about you, Bea?" After a long silence, he asked. Napakunot ang noo ko. I glanced at him. He was staring directly at the night sky. Binalik ko ang tingin ko sa langit bago sumagot.

"Okay ako," sagot ko. I saw him glancing at me from my peripheral vision. He was probably checking if I was fine.

"Hmm?"

"Okay lang ako," sagot kong muli. "Ikaw nga 'yong dapat na kinakamusta," I added. I heard him chuckle.

"Tell me about it," he was pertaining to what I was thinking. I sighed.

"Naalala mo dati.." I started.

"I was always afraid to sleep because I might not wake up anymore. I was afraid to leave everybody behind," I smiled, a painful one. I was in deep pain.

"Yeah.. Hinihintay kitang makatulog ng mahimbing, because you'll end up crying in the middle of your sleep. So I make sure you always go first," He laughed. I glanced at him. I smiled.

"I think I left a lot of yesterdays for everybody to cherish until the last daylight of their lives. I think I'm done with my so-called 'mission' already. I think I'm done.." I said. Tears were slowly forming in my eyes.

"I'm not afraid anymore, Thirdy.." He remained silent.

"I'm not afraid to sleep anymore,"