PLAY WITH FIRE

CHAPTER 19

SCARLETT VALENTINE

PRESENT TIME

I had no clue where the fuck Holden was. I'd searched and searched and searched and turned up empty handed over and over again. The people I passed I asked shrugged or frowned at me, disgusted they were being questioned by an ex convict. You'd think people within the FBI would be more empathetic towards wrong convicted people, but nope, not a single one of them. 

When I rounded a corner, passing a light brown hair of head I was too focused trying to find Holden to realise I'd passed Schmidt. 

"Scar? Where are you running off to?" I immediately paused, turning around to find Schmidt who had also just registered who'd walked past him. I clapped in delight and hope when I realised it was Schmidt. 

"Schmidtty, have you seen Holden?" Schmidt scoffed, a slightly amused expression on his face as he fully turned towards me. 

"Well this is weird, usually Holden's the one asking where you are, not the other way arou-"

"Schmidt, I'd love to stay and chat but now's not the time for reminiscing. Do you know where Holden is?" Schmidt frowned, confused as to why I was so desperate to find Holden. Schmidt nodded behind me, down the hall I was headed before he stopped me. 

"He was headed to the bathroom" I sighed, running a hand through my hair, glad I now knew where he was. 

"Thank you" I mumbled, smiling weakly up at Schmidt before turning around and making my way down the hall towards the bathroom at the very end. The hall was empty. Frankly this whole floor was usually pretty empty. It was always dead silent, so silent it was almost unnerving. When I'd finally gotten to the men's bathroom at the end I turned my head making sure no one saw me as I pushed open the door and walked into the men's bathroom. The first thing I saw was Holden's large figure sat on the surprisingly clean ground, resting against the tiled wall. 

"Holden" He immediately shook his head in his hands, his whole body shaking as he tried to keep himself still and calm, neither of which he was achieving. 

"I'm fine, Scar. You can leave now" I shook my head even though he couldn't see me. His weak, choked voice tore pieces of my heart off, dropping them to the ground and stomping on them until there was no longer any life in them, just floppy dead tissue.

"I'm not leaving Holden" 

"Scar, leave" I shook my head again. 

"No. Holden. I'm not-"

"Scarlett leave..." He raised his voice, his shoulders sagging as he sucked in a sharp breath. "Please". 

I locked the door behind me before slowly making my way towards Holden. I placed my hands on his knees before crouching down, sitting down on my butt in front of him. 

"I'm not leaving, Holden. You can't do this by yourself" Holden ran his hands through his hair, messing it up, bits sticking up all over the place, pieces falling over his forehead. Holden cleared his throat, removing his hands from his face and resting his head against the wall behind him. His red rimmed eyes met mine. 

"I've managed for the last 23 years" He stated, eyes boring into mine. He wasn't blinking, just staring. Staring like I was the only other person on planet earth. His chest heaved up and down, hands on the side of his thighs shaking. 

"You don't have to manage anymore. I'm here" Holden's features creased, his nose turning up, eyes squinting as he continued to stare at me, looking as if he was holding back tears. 

"Not the united front you thought we were huh?" He asked, talking about his family. I looked down to his hands on his thighs. Shaking my head I leant forward, placing my hands over his.