PLAY WITH FIRE

CHAPTER 41

SCARLETT VALENTINE

PRESENT TIME

Everyone is a murderer. You just have to meet the right person. 

The file named 'To Scarlett' that contained security footage of Olivia dragging a barely conscious Holden into his room and sexually assaulting him remained on pause on Quita's laptop...until I broke it.

The laptop I mean. 

A shower of tears, an anger outburst and a revenge plot later and I was sitting beside Schmidt as he hacked into the apartment buildings security system. We were trying to find Olivia, because whilst we now knew where she lived, she was MIA. 

I wouldn't personally diagnose myself with an anger disorder, but the way I've been lashing out and acting the last couple days since finding out Olivia was a rapist, my Holden was her victim and I had pushed him to trying to take his own life, would say otherwise. 

But you know what they say, nobody knows you better than you know yourself. 

"Would you tone it down on your heavy breathing?" Schmidt mumbled, his eyes focused on his laptop, "You sound like an obese 60 year old trying to sit up." 

"My nose is blocked. I get stress nose bleeds" I replied, bringing my hand to the bridge of my nose and pulling it side to side trying to make an airway. If I blow it it'll just start bleeding again and that's 10 minutes I don't want to spend trying to settle it. 

"Blow it" Schmidt suggested with a shrug. 

"No" 

"Okay" We sat in silence, our eyes trained to the laptop as we watched literally nothing. We weren't finding anything that would be useful in tracking Olivia down, even with Schmidt and his FBI hacking and telecommunications skills we were coming up empty. 

"How is he?" I finally asked, feeling Schmidt arm that was lightly pressed against my side tense. Schmidt clicked a few more keys before deciding to answer. 

"I'm worried about him" Schmidt replied honestly, his eyebrows furrowing. My heart clenched in my chest. 

"You're worry he'll try-"

"No" Schmidt cut my off shaking his head. "He won't try taking his life again. He's complaining too much about the headaches to attempt."

"What are you worried about exactly?" Schmidt glanced at me. 

"What? You're not worried about him?" He asked, his eyes accusing me of not caring about Holden. It felt like being hit my a freight train. 

"Of course I worry about him. But they're my own personal worries. What are yours?" Schmidt continued to simply stare at me. It was like he was trying to tear me down and pick my brain with his eyes. I've always been good at hiding my emotions. 

"You know you've got to stop beating yourself up about what he did" A shiver ran up my spine at the direct mention of me bringing Holden to trying to take his on life. I know it was selfish, but it fucking hurt hearing I was the reason. 

"I can't. It's my fault-"

"Scarlett, Holden was already struggling to walk the tightrope. You just...you were just the breeze with a little too much kick in it that made him fall" I frowned, shaking my head. I didn't want to admit I was the reason why he took those pills, but I know I was. Apart from that, for the last few months I have been practically glued to Holden's side. If I didn't push him, what did? 

"If not me then who, Schmidt?" My chest began closing in on my ribs. Schmidt's eyebrows furrowed as he watched the emotion leaking from my pores. 

"I knew about Holden's childhood. I knew about it and still said he deserved it, it doesn't matter that I was drunk. you know what they say drunk words are sober-" Schmidt cut me off with the shake of his head.