The Misblown Wind

CHAPTER 18 - Like how I love you

Having a boyfriend was not on my bucket list, at least not yet. I was not sure whether I was ready for that. Whenever someone asked me out on a date, I always had an excuse. I didn't get that tickle in my stomach or whatever. I convinced myself that maybe they were not my type. I wanted to fall hard for someone who gave me no reason to, so that I would get overwhelmed and couldn't withstand asking him out on a date.

I don't know who's my type exactly, maybe I have set the bar too high, expecting someone to love me like they do in novels, or maybe I haven't met that kind of person yet. But I never imagined that I would reach this point in my life where I liked a guy even without knowing him.

I started searching for him in everyone I got to see. And I started looking for letters everywhere I went. With all this, I was going mad eventually. I really started pondering whether this was all a fantasy and he was just a fictional character I created to spice up my life. Sometimes I feel sick with everything going around and decide to leave everything behind and start resuming my usual life. And sometimes I wonder whether I will get to see him at least today and starts wearing the best clothes.

Both not being in love and being in love are cool. But being in one without knowing the person is seriously one hell of a roller coaster ride. Some days I will be curiously looking around to find his letters, like a little girl searching for candy. And some days I sound like a loser going around everywhere and asking people whether they have something in my name without knowing what. Some days I get confused about my feelings for him, like whether this is a mere curiosity to know the one who loves me or whether this is what they call love. I could not define my feelings in a word, nor could I contain them in a jar. I wish I could figure it out at least before getting to meet him. "Take it slow, El, one day at a time." I convinced myself.

I took a deep breath so that all the tension in me oozed out into the air. "Hey there! Have you finished the assignments? I have few doubts." I texted Kia, as I need to submit those assignments tomorrow. As soon as the message was marked read, she pinged me.

"Hey El!" She sounded very enthusiastic.

"Hi Kia! I'm sorry to bother you so early in the morning. I just didn't even start my work, and that's why." She interrupted me in the middle, asking, "No, I didn't call for that El. Did you forget it?"

"Yeah, I totally forgot about the assignments until this morning."

"Oh God! I didn't ask about it. I asked about our plans today."

"Plans?" A deep furrow appeared between my brows as I tried and failed to remember it.

"Jesus Christ! How did you forget it?", she asked grimly.

"Anyway, we are going out today, and Ryan will be coming too. Period." It's been merely a few weeks knowing her, but deep down, we were like friends known for ages. There are only a few people we get to meet in our lives like this. The moment we see them, we know that they're going to be our forever kind of friend. That kind of first instinct never fails us. And with her, I felt that deep.

"Oh yeah! I'm in." I replied as I closed my laptop, wondering when I would complete the pending work.

"So since you're new to the place, it's your call. Where can we go?"

"Mmm. Bakers Beach?" I didn't plan on this, but it rolled out instantly.

"But if it's not on the list, we can go somewhere else. I wouldn't mind."

"Nah, it sounds cool! We will pick you up at 4." She hung up the phone avidly.

3:00 PM

The clock struck 3, and still I didn't select my outfit. I was looking for a vibrant-colored dress to make myself brighter, just in case he was there. Though I try to choose some peppy-colored outfit beyond black, my hand sooner or later gets pulled towards it. That treaty between me and black color is a non-written abstract one. This time the black crop top lying beneath all the dresses at some corner hauled me. And I couldn't deny it. After all, what makes us look peppy than our favorite colored outfit. I mismatched it with olive green trousers, making it more casual.