Flash

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

In my dreams, anything is possible. That's why I sleep so much. Dr. Mungo tells me it's depression, a serious mental disorder, and I need to take pills to balance my neurotransmitters. He says he wants me to be happy. But I'm perfectly happy the way I am.

I wasn't always like this. I had a normal childhood, more or less, except for that weird incident with our next-door neighbour, who wanted me to take my clothes off and read him bedtime stories. I finished high school with a B+ average and went to community college because it was cheaper and closer to home than university, and less boring than getting an entry-level job. I tried a lot of different courses for the next five years, while Mum worried and worried because I never developed any romantic interest in my fellow students.

Mum keeps insisting that it is my sacred duty to get married and produce children, because I am the only remaining child. My twin brothers were run over by a big roller machine on our street -- they were always curious about everything, and got too close. Neither of them lived long enough to tell us exactly what happened.

I had my first Big Technicolour Dream the day of their funeral. Just like the most wonderful movie you would ever want to see. except it was 3D and I was right inside, smelling, tasting, hearing, feeling everything. I was floating on an endless ocean on my bed, surrounded by dolphins leaping and playing and splashing. Two of them came up to me, stood on their tails, and started squeaking. I understood exactly what they were saying. They were my departed brothers! When I talked back to them in English, they understood me too. They told me that this was the Ocean of Infinity, where there would always be new adventures to explore.

After that my days seemed endlessly boring. I couldn't wait for them to end so I could return to the ocean. I met more dolphins, and whales, and manatees, and strange creatures I couldn't begin to name. My brothers were the only ones whose speech I could understand. They told me that I would be able to understand every creature, and travel anywhere I chose in the Waters of Infinity, if I would become one of them. All I had to do was to let myself slide off my bed and trust myself to the waves.

I often started crying when I woke up, because I wanted to return to my dream so badly. I hated myself for not having the nerve to leave my bed. Every time I tried, I would pull back at the last minute. It seemed too much like dying.

I'm almost thirty now, and my parents are talking about putting me in an asylum. I wouldn't mind that, really, if they just let me sleep. But they will probably force me to take drugs to stay awake longer, and I wouldn't like that at all. So I keep promising my parents that I will get a job and find a husband, and they pretend to believe me.

There are other beds floating on the Ocean of Infinity, with all kinds of people on them. I see one or two almost every night. We always wave at each other and paddle frantically with our hands to get close enough to talk. But the beds have a mind of their own. They have a set path, and there is nothing we can do about it.

Last night, I had the most wonderful dream ever. I finally got close enough to another one of the beds to start a conversation. The man on the bed was bare-chested, beautifully tanned, and very handsome. He said his name was Mark and he was a dreamer just like me. I asked where he lived in the waking world, and he said he couldn't remember.

While we were talking, our beds came so close to each other that we reached out and tried to touch. Our outstretched fingertips were only a few inches apart. Then the beds started to drift apart. I started to cry. Much as I love the Ocean of Infinity, it is a very lonely place, because I can only talk to my brothers, and they are often too busy exploring to spend time with me.

Mark held out his arms and yelled, "Jump, Helena! Jump!" And I did.

I was still in the air when I woke up.

I was eating my breakfast, trying to figure out how to get back to sleep and find out whether I landed on Mark's bed or fell into the ocean, when the doorbell rang. It was an Amazon delivery for Mom. The delivery man was Mark from the Ocean of Infinity.

My heart started to pound in my ears as I reached out for the parcel.

He said, "You look so familiar. Have we met before?"

"In our dreams," I told him.

He's going to come back and take me out for burgers as soon as he finishes his shift. Maybe the waking world isn't so bad after all.