Another Paradise | T Shelby

THIRTY FIVE - THE UNIVERSE

"Charlie! How was your first day back at school?"

Tommy leant against the doorframe to his study with his arms folded at his chest, immediately jumping from his desk when he heard the car door shut outside.

His son walked back into the house with a miserable gaze on his face, his shoulders sluggish, dragging his feet behind him. Tommy frowned, looking at Frances who was locking the door behind her.

"I don't know what's up," she said, shrugging her shoulders, "Could barely get a word out of him on the way home."

Charlie ducked underneath his father's arm and walked into his study. The two of them had made a habit of talking about their day as soon as Charlie returned from school, sitting together in Tommy's office with a drink each.

That day was no different, except for the first time in a while, Charlie wasn't his usual happy, excited self. He almost always came home from school the last year with a wide grin, eager to talk to his father about what he'd got up to that day.

The boy kicked off his shoes and placed them by the door, hanging up his coat on a hook next to Tommy's and placing his school bag down next to his father's briefcase.

With a sigh, he grabbed the glass of juice that was waiting for him on the desk and threw himself down on the chair opposite Tommy's on the other side of the desk, swivelling himself round by his tiptoes.

Tommy closed the door to his study and took a seat opposite his son, pouring himself a glass of whiskey before he did so.

"What are we toasting to today, son?"

Charlie didn't reply. He continued to spin round on the chair, staring at a locked cabinet on the far side of the room. He knew that was where all the pictures and memories of Blair were kept since he'd seen his father sat surrounded by them scattered across the floor one night, only he didn't dare walk into the room.

"Alright," Tommy sighed, "What is it? Talk to me."

Perhaps the only positive thing about Blair leaving him was that it forced Tommy to step up as a father in ways that he otherwise might never have done.

Tommy had learned how to be a proper father, spending more time with his son and opening up to him more. They still didn't talk too much about Blair, or Grace, for that matter, but their bond slowly formed over time and it was something Thomas was deeply grateful for.

"Is it your friends at school? Has someone been mean to you? Do you not like your new teacher?"

Charlie's eyes snapped away from the cabinet to meet his father's as soon as he mentioned the word teacher.

Tommy relaxed a little, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of his whiskey.

"I didn't like half of my teachers at school either. You get used to them, though. You might change your mind over time, she might not be that bad really."

Charlie placed his glass of juice down on the desk, shaking his head before he looked up at Tommy with a quivering bottom lip and watery eyes.

"It's Mum," he said quietly, "She's my teacher."

Tommy's chest seized up and he felt his heart tighten, feeling like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden.

"You mean, y-you mean it's-"

"Blair."

Charlie had never once stopped referring to Blair as his mother. In the first few weeks after she left, he would spend hours sat by the door waiting for her, just in case she came back. He wrote her letters and told Tommy to send them to her, though the boy wasn't sure now that his father ever did post them.

After a while, he accepted the fact that his mother was gone. He never completely lost hope, unable to escape the thought of her at any hour of day or night, seeing her in his dreams.

He felt connected to her and had done since the day they met. Charlie loved her, finding it impossible to fill the hole she left in his heart after she walked out of the door for the last time. It had upset him deeply and although Tommy had tried to explain that sometimes, parents just fall out of love, Charlie couldn't understand why Blair had fallen out of love with him, too.

The years that passed by didn't change much for Charlie. He still missed his mother and he still saw her almost every night when he slept. He liked it, in a way. It was comforting to see her face and feel the warmth of her hugs, hear her tell him just how much she loved him.

Eventually, Charlie came to terms with the fact that if a dream of his mother was all he'd ever have again, he would settle for it.

Thomas hadn't been able to let go of Blair, either. He knew in himself that there wasn't another person in the world he could ever love the way he loved Blair, and that it would've been unfair to try and give someone even a small piece of his heart when he knew he couldn't possibly give them it all.

Along with putting time into growing a proper relationship with his son, Tommy poured every other waking hour into his work. He achieved everything he'd ever planned to, exceeding his dreams of what the Shelby Company Limited could've ever been.

Yet, he still felt empty inside.

His huge house was eerie and soulless, he had nobody to share his wealth with and spoil like he wanted to, and his bed was always cold when he got into it at night. The flowers in the garden stayed on their stems since he didn't have to make bouquets for anybody anymore and there was no stains on the wooden bedside table from cups of tea in the morning since he hadn't made a single one for anyone else in five years.

It turned out that everything Thomas thought was important, really meant nothing.

"Jesus Christ." Tommy let out a heavy sigh and stared at his son who was blinking quickly, tears falling down his cheeks, "Come here, come on."

The boy ran round the desk and jumped onto his father's lap, allowing himself to be cradled like a little child for a moment, needing the comfort and warmth.

"Did you talk to her?" Tommy asked, holding Charlie against his chest, spinning the chair gently, a motion that had calmed the boy down since he was a baby.

Charlie just nodded, sniffling quietly.

"She told me that she was sorry, and that she loves me. She said she never forgot about me, not even for a second. I think she was upset, Dad. She looked so scared when I looked at her, her eyes looked like she was going to cry."

Truthfully, Thomas didn't have even an idea of what was the right thing to do. His mind became a whirlwind of memories, both warm and cold, moments he wanted to remember forever and moments he wished he could erase completely. He could barely think straight, feeling like he was drowning in something that for the first time, he couldn't climb out of.

"Did I upset her?"

"No," Tommy said immediately, "You didn't. She loves you, Charlie. She always loved you and I-"

A lump rising in his throat made Thomas unable to continue talking. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into his son's hair, continuing to hold him. He furrowed his brows and inhaled deeply, trying his best to hold back his tears and to pull himself together for his little boy's sake.

"I should've loved her the way she loved us, Charlie. She would've done anything for us, for our family and I should've seen back then, I should've listened to her when she told me that family was always the most important thing. Not work, not money, not the racing, you and her."

With his voice on the verge of breaking and now, a trickling of tears staining his cheeks, Tommy took his son's face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together, wishing that things were different.

"I'm so sorry. It's my fault she left, she deserved better than me but you," he shook his head slightly, brushing tears from Charlie's skin, "You and her were meant to be by each other's side, always. Maybe this is the universes way of bringing you together again, eh?"

Charlie's bottom lip was stuck out as he looked to his father, being able to feel the sadness that was radiating from his eyes inside of his own chest. He knew then that Tommy had missed Blair just as much as he had, despite scarcely mentioning her name since she'd left.

"Maybe it's bringing us all together again, Dad."