Their Thief: Redemption

Chapter 11 (Part 2)

It crept its way up to my throat, making it easier to breathe past the flicker of fear that Alec's angered tone, even muffled and through a distant phone, had struck from a place deep within. One that would never be able to forget his torment. 

But it wasn't enough.

The creeping numbness itself wasn't dangerous. The dangerous aspect was how much I wanted it; how much my body craved it once it got a taste. It was never enough.

For a brief moment, there were only the steady beats of my heart echoing in the room. My eyes lingered on the door as I tried to strain my ears past the beats to listen to Jace's muffled voice and footsteps fade. Hearing nothing, I slowly turned to take in the room around me.

Jace's room was as messy as he was. There were clothes thrown about and sheets that I would guess were never made.

Not that I could complain much.

Mostly empty bottles littered the floor around his bed. Drying puddles of spilled liquor told that some were empty due to the careless way they were tossed aside.

Such a waste, I couldn't help but think as I eyed the puddle before moving on in search of more. I found it on the side table by the bed. There sat a half-filled bottle of rum.

Bingo.

My feet lightly carried me across the room to the tempting poison. I hadn't had a drink in two years. Not since that night. Before that, I never overdid it, afraid that I would end up like my father. I didn't want to end up like him. Not when I had something to lose. Someone to lose. Simon had kept me from spiraling all those years. From becoming what I always feared I would, like my father.

But now he was gone.

I had nothing left. Not even happy memories to look back on. They were all tainted.

Even the hopes that I would eventually escape were waning in the face of old wounds and bleak revelations. I had come face to face with my future moments ago. It resembled the dark past I had tried to run from. I guess it had caught up in a new form. If that was what was to come, I would rather go through it numb. There was no escaping my mind otherwise. 

The only good thing that remained was the numbness, but even that was threatening to leave me. Now, without Jace in my sights triggering the response that caused it, it had begun to retreat, letting past the torrent of pain it had just been blocking out.

I didn't want that. I wanted to feel nothing. I needed to numb it all away. Before emotions and reactions, I couldn't control could hurt me any further.

I grabbed the bottle. Firmly gripping it around the neck, I dragged it across the wooden surface before lifting the rim to my lips, not caring that the cap sat open on the table beside it already. The faint taste of Jace's lips at first contact was quickly washed away by the burning amber. I wasn't drinking it to hydrate myself. I was on a mission. One that would make all the pain twisting in my chest go away. I choked back a gag as I swallowed multiple mouth fulls.

Bringing the bottle down, I had to press my mouth against my arm to keep the liquid from burning a trail back up. I took deep breaths through my nose as warmth unfurled in my stomach. Gripping the edge of the table, my watering eyes scanned the rest of the surface while I prepared myself for another swing.

Loose change and a few bills were thrown across it carelessly. An ashtray sat overflowing with smoked joints and cigarettes. The scent of ash wasn't enough to cut past the citrus tones the room was filled with. It twinned deliciously with spices the rum gave off as I lifted the bottle back to my lips. My fingers tightened.