The Good Old Days

April 1994 (Grand Canyon)

Adam still felt pretty dead inside, but every day he did his best to put on a happy face and keep that shine in his eyes, even if it was fake. Just earlier this month, Adam had been devastated when he found out that the lead singer of Furvana, Kurrot Cobain, had taken his own life. Now he really wished he could have gotten to go to one of their last concerts. Of course, he wouldn't have chosen to miss Daisy's special day over it, because at the end of the day, she was more important than a concert to him. Though, the pain of knowing his idol was gone now really stung and it only strengthened his persisting depression as of late.

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"You all packed?" Daisy asked as the two of them walked home from school, "Our flight leaves at five tomorrow morning, remember."

"Yep," Adam said, "Pretty sure I have everything. I'll meet you at your house in the morning."

"I'm so glad you're coming," she said, "It'll be tons more fun with you there."

"Heh," he laughed, "You sure I'm more fun than a big hole in the ground?"

"Always," she said, planting a kiss on his cheek.

The couple held hands all the way to Daisy's house, which was a bit out of the way of Adam's but he didn't mind.

"I'll see ya bright and early," she said.

Adam kissed her on the lips, "Yep, see ya then. I love you."

"Love you too," she replied, adding her own kiss.

Adam walked towards home, really hoping this vacation would be what he needed. A whole week with Daisy seemed like just the thing to finally break the funk he'd been in.

The first couple days at the Grand Canyon went smoothly. Adam and Daisy's family spent a lot of time hiking, with the couple often going off on side trails by themselves to explore. Adam felt the happiest he had in months.

On their third night there, Daisy wanted to go watch the sunset since it was a clear evening, and Adam happily agreed.

The park didn't close till after sunset, so the two found a spot along one of the canyon cliffs and sat down, their legs dangling over the edge. It was about a thousand foot drop to the canyon floor below them, so they had to be careful as they sat down.

"The sky's so pretty here," she commented, "So much clearer than back home. I can see stars already and the sun isn't even set yet."

As Adam gazed up at the sky, he felt Daisy put her hand on top of his. He looked over at her as she looked up.

Then it hit him. That all too familiar feeling that had been in him for months.

It was like a gut punch as it washed over him, instantly sucking out every positive feeling he had. Daisy hadn't noticed his changed expression on his face yet.

Adam looked down as he tried to fight off the thoughts, but that was a mistake. He was now looking into the darkening canyon below. It was like a void that only grew darker with each passing second the sun went down.

He just stared into the darkness. He felt his heart pounding the entire time, it looked almost alluring.

If I just... Fell... Adam thought to himself, Just land on my head. It'd be over so quickly... No pain, no nothing... Just the end of a useless life.

What Adam didn't notice was that he had begun leaning forward and was about to tumble over the ledge.

"Adam!" Daisy yelled, grabbing the back of Adam's shirt and pulling him backwards, almost landing him on his back. She had barely grabbed him before gravity would have taken over.

"What were you doing!?" She screamed at him, her voice filled with more fright than anger, "You would have died!"

He couldn't hold back anymore and he burst into tears, rolling onto his stomach and sobbing uncontrollably into his arms.

"Adam..." Daisy said, "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

He just kept crying with his face buried in his arms toward the ground, but after a couple minutes, he managed to pull himself up in a sitting position next to her, but the tears still ran down his cheek fur.

He tried to speak, but was unable to before he broke down again, this time resting his forehead on her shoulder.

"I-I just..." He sniffed, unable to finish.

"What?" She asked with concern, putting her arm around him and rubbing her hand on his back, "Adam, please tell me what's wrong..."

"I just..." he choked, "D-daisy, I just w-wanna d-die... I c-can't keep living like th-this..."

She felt her heart break hearing him say that.

She hugged him tightly, letting him cry into her, "Did something happen? Why do you want to die? Please, I wanna help... I almost lost you..."

"Maybe i-it'd be b-better that w-way..." He cried, "E-every day I-I'm m-miserable..."

"Don't say that," she said, resting her chin on his shoulder, "I love you, Adam, and nothing's gonna change that..." She ran her fingers through the muted brown fur on the back of his head, "If you were dead, I don't know what I'd do."

"Y-you'd get over i-it..." He sobbed.

"I'd miss you every single day," she told him, "I know what your mind is telling you, but please, please don't believe it. I love you, all our friends love you, your family, my family... You aren't as alone as you think you are, I just want you to fight, okay?"

Adam's sobs turned to unsteady breathing as he tried to calm himself. Daisy stood up, holding his hands to bring him with her.

"Come on," she said, "Let's go back to the hotel and get some rest, we'll talk more about it in the morning."

She kissed him before leading him back to their hotel.

The rest of their vacation passed without incident, and Daisy was keeping a closer eye on him. He begged her not to tell anyone else, so she agreed not to. However, she struggled holding onto that information, so she decided to tell the only ones she could trust with it.

"Cath, Mel," Daisy said as the three sat in her room, "Can I talk to you for a minute..."

"Sure," Cathy said, "What is it?"

"Okay," Daisy said, "I'm not supposed to say anything but I can't keep this to myself."

"Ooooh," Melissa said, "Is it juicy?"

Daisy sighed, "No... I think Adam has depression... And it's bad."

"What?" Cathy said, almost laughing, "Adam? As in Adam Busch? I'm not sure I've ever seen him so much as frown and we've known him since kindergarten."

"I know," Daisy said, "I wouldn't have guessed either until he almost dropped himself over a cliff when we were in Arizona..."

"What!?" Her two friends yelled in unison.

"It was scary..." She said, "I looked over and he looked so spaced out looking down into the Canyon... Then I saw him falling forward and barely grabbed him in time. Then... I've never seen anyone cry like he did. He really wanted to die that night and it scares me so much..."

"He doesn't wanna get help?" Mel asked.

Daisy shook her head, "I offered to go with him but... I guess he thinks it'll make him worse if anyone else knows. I just don't know what to do, I love him too much to see him hurt like he is, but I'm not a psychiatrist. He really thinks we'd all be better off without him."

"If he's that adamant about not getting help..." Melissa said, "You just gotta be there for him. Make sure he beats it, keep his mind off it... Run up your parents' phone bill by talking to him until he falls asleep. If anyone can get him to come around, it's you."

"I still can't believe Adam out of all people is depressed..." Cathy said.

"Yeah..." Daisy sighed, "Me neither. I just want him to be okay... I miss him."