THIN WHITE LIES | Jake Sim

022 | broken perfume

↪J I H Y E
It might be Monday today, the most disliked day of the week but it doesn't stop me from being on cloud 9. Excitement was the feeling I woke up with this morning and that feeling still hasn't left my body. Who even is excited during a Monday morning except me?

I have seen several posts on social media about romanticizing your life by doing several things, and I have honestly never understood the thing about it. Why is it so important to romanticize your life? But now I get it. You feel more motivated in life.

My eyes started to search for Sena while I stepped out of the car. I found her standing a few meters away from our regular meeting spot, talking to some of our classmates. I began walking towards them and in the same second I opened my mouth to greet them, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me away.

It was Jake.

We were standing for ourselves, distancing us from the rest. I kept looking at Jake, trying to read his facial expression but it was hard. I can't tell whenever Jake is stressed over something or maybe confused.

"I'm sorry for pulling you away but there's something I want and need to tell you" Jake said.

Now was his facial expression even harder to read. What is he going to say? Is it about our date last night? Did Jake not enjoy our date as much as I did? But he wouldn't have kissed me last night if he didn't enjoy our date, right?

"I should have told you this earlier but.. I have lied to you" Jake added.

He have what? Lied to me? Maybe it is true then, maybe he didn't enjoy our date last night. Has all of this only been an act?

"I don't steal" Jake confessed.

"What?" I responded, full of mixed emotions.

"The story of me stealing ice cream during a hot day is true though but it actually was a one-time thing and I haven't stolen anything after that. Not even during our little challenge, I just pretend to steal them when I actually bought them.." Jake said.

"I found the group meeting when I was walking around the town one day. At first I thought it was stupid and dumb how people could steal but after awhile-" Jake continued.

"So you think I'm stupid and dumb?" I responded, feeling my anger boiling inside of me.

"Meanwhile I thought I finally have found someone who understands me on another level, someone I can talk to about my addiction.. Have you been judging me this whole time?" I added.

"No! Jihye, listen to me!" Jake said, grabbing my shoulders.

"I'm not going to listen to you!" I responded while I pushed his hands from my shoulder.

"I can't believe you have pretended to steal while I have felt terrified about someone finding out. You must have thought I was sick when I stole that leather jacket, or when I showed you my collection. And the worst part of all of this is that I thought you out of all people won't judge me.." I said.

I stared into Jake's eyes for a few seconds until I decided to walk away. My feets automatically started to walk faster, the blurry my eyes got. I reached the point where I couldn't see anything and needed to let the tears be free.

I was standing a bit far away from the school gate, which meant no one would see me like this. I sat down in the middle of the street, crawling up like a ball while I cried out loud. The excitement I had when I woke up this morning is gone.

After allowing my tears to take over me, I stood up again, looking back at the school building while wiping my tears. I have zero motivation and desire to go back to school now. All I want right now is to go back home, pretending this day never happened.

My feets started to head towards somewhere, I don't know where, I just know it's not school my heading towards. I realized I had a box of cigarettes in my pocket and I didnt heastited to take one. I'm still feeling my tears in my throat, making it a little hard for me to breathe and then taking a cigarette doesn't make it much easier either.

The people passing by me must be wondering what is going on with me.

After a while, my feets have dragged me all the way to the mall. I hate myself for being like this, not being able to function as a normal human being. But I hate myself more for falling for Jake's act. I can't believe I let myself open up as much as I did for him.

Did he really need to wait this long to tell me about this? It's not the fact of Jake not stealing that makes me mad at him, it's the fact of Jake not telling me about this until now that makes me mad at him. I would have appreciated it if he told me about this much earlier.. Before I fell in love with him.

In a blink of an eye was I standing in a store, already putting in stuff inside my jacket. I let out a sign before I let my actions take control over me. I continued to look around the store, putting in every single thing I could find inside my jacket before I moved on to the next store, and the next store, and the next store..

I was on my way to place a perfume bottle inside my jacket when someone bumped into me which caused me to drop the perfume on the floor. It shattered into pieces and everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to look at me. This sudden attention made me panic. I started to cold sweat while my breath got heavier.

I took out my wallet and threw the money I had inside on the broken perfume before I ran out of the store. I held my jacket tight to make sure I dont drop anything while I ran out from the mall. My breath slowly started to come back once I received fresh air.

This is the worst day of my life.