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Y/n: Remus?

Remus: Yeah?

Y/n: How good is Pettigrew in potions?

Remus: Horrible. Why?

Lily: I'm worried about Black.

Remus: One-second Y/n. Why?

Lily: He's talking to a rat about how to make Polyjuice Potion.

Remus: That's worrying. Wormtail is terrible at potions. 

Y/n: I'm offended. Why didn't he come to me?

Lily: Why would he go to you-

Y/n: Hero and I made it in our second year in the girl's bathroom.

Remus: We'll get back to that. 

Lily: Who's Wormtail?

Y/n: An ass.

Remus elbows Y/n.

Y/n: A traitor?

Elijah elbows Y/n harder.

Y/n: The rat.

Lily: You're not worried that he's talking to a rat about magic?

Remus: No, why?

Lily: ...

Y/n: It's Sirius. His mother puts up a Christmas tree that bites. I'm sure he's done weirder things than discussing magic with rats.

Lily: Nevermind.

Remus: How did you not get caught?

Y/n: Moaning Myrtle.

Remus: Moaning Myrtle? 

Y/n: I'm not telling you.



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