How to Know You're Obsessed with Artemis Fowl

1

• You grin when you see the constellation Orion.
•You can quote large passages of text.
•You use the quotes at any times possible.
•You have read the books over five times.
•You know the exact timeline for every person in the book.
•Instead of cussing in English, you say D'arvit.
•You are afraid of the cursed number and any multiples of it.
•You know what the cursed number is.
•You love the number five.
•You believe Artemis should only be a boy name for hunters.
•You hate anyone named Opal.
•You trust of twins is lacking.
•You want a Eurasian bodyguard.
•Beach blond giants scare you.
•When you see a beach blonde giant you nervously ask if you can see their teeth.
•You feel accomplished when you manage to do something athletic.
•Another favorite number of yours is one.
•You call tiny, angry men Loafers
•You call tiny, angry people with tattoos Loafers.
•You listen to plotting music during group presentations or while making plans.
•You hate when people read the series because you want to be his.
•You love when people read the series because you want to talk to them about it.
•When someone says something you know is wrong you say "I believe it is you, fairy, unfamiliar with the facts."
•When you see Stonehenge you think of pizza.
•When someone says you're smart you respond with "I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared."
•You cried when Holly kissed Artemis because you want to date him.
•You ship one of these: Milerva- Miles and Minerva, Jeckett- Juliet and Beckett, Bropal- Briar and Opal, Vinoot- Vinyaya and Root, or Trolly- Trouble and Holly.
•When someone is being cocky you tell them "If you're cocky,  it's because there's something you don't know.
•You cried when anyone of the gang died or was thought to be dead.
•You desperately want Fairy Roses.
•Tell people that their auras are "Pastel Blue with little dolphins" and watch their reactions.
•You scream "I'm the Nut!" when you see a squid.
•You believe in fairies.
•You often mutter "such a goblin" when someone says something idiotic.
•You are in constant want of a "Randomosity" t-shirt.
•You call people Mud- boys and -girls.
•You take the time to always be insulted.
•When you leave on vacation you say to your best friend "I was a broken boy and you fixed me. Thank you." Like you will never see them again.
•You think fire alarms are just for show.
•You think anyone named Lenore is married to an elven criminal.
•You prefer to be called "Juvenile Genius"
•You understand that the whole series is Holly describing his adventures to Artemis. (The first words of the first book and the last words of the last book are the same)
•You're insulted when he's insulted.
•You romanticize him.
•When he died, you stopped reading and denied that he died at all. Usually, while you cried.
•When talking about Artemis the goddess who have to ask "the genius or the goddess?".
• When talking to yourself, your first thought is "finally, some intelligent conversation."

Authors Note
Hello, Juvenile Geniuses. So, if you're reading this, it probably means you love Artemis Fowl. So, all of you who do love it, it would be awesome to get ideas from you. Also, if you don't like Artemis Fowl, sad but it happens, please 1) learn to live him, 2) tell your friends to love him.
That's all, enjoy,
Holly Fowl
PS.
I hate holly and artemis together, but I think their names go together very nicely. Okay. That's really it. Bye bye for now. Thanks.