Romance Anthologies

One Last Time

* Probably one of the last pieces I'll publish this school break. I really, really hope to make time and formulate ideas and write it to share with all of you in between classes huhu. But my fingers are crossed. One thing is for sure: this is definitely not goodbye. Good luck sa'tin mga bessywaps, no exact words how I am very much thankful for you for making my four vacant months worthwhile. 🥰

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Since about six months ago, Leni has had the habit of rousing herself in the middle of the night has been her new normal. Not to mention the fact that this is accompanied by startling sobs and muffled expressions of dissatisfaction. During the past three months, she had been experiencing all of her feelings simultaneously, including rage, perplexity, and remorse. She was unable to explain how it was possible to submerge someone with mere feelings, but she had the experience that it was. She wanted to break herself over something that she kept putting off, but she couldn't find the confidence and the timing to do it. Rather, she was afraid of how things might turn out afterward.

In addition, Bongbong has kept himself in the dark for the past half a year, despite the fact that he knew how she turns on their heater to boil water and drink tea as she walks toward the veranda, sitting there in the great darkness and allowing to be joined by the stars alone. It's not that he didn't care, but rather that he was more concerned with granting her wishes than his own. It appeared as though she takes pleasure in having time to herself, which is supported by the fact that she did so. The escape valve that he continued trying to whisper to his senses was to keep trying to convince himself that everything is alright, despite the fact that he basically knows that it isn't already.

Until both of them came to the conclusion that it was high time for them to be honest.

"Leni..." Bongbong almost whispered, trying to catch her attention yet at the same time, aims not to disturb her tranquility.

She was a bit alarmed upon turning her gaze behind her, "Oh, god. Sorry. Ginising ba kita?"

He wanted to tell her yes, but a voice inside him urged him to lie, "Hindi. Hindi...uhm...inalimpungatan lang ako."

"Nanaginip ka ba?" Leni fixated her gaze back at the skies.

"Sort of," he eventually stood beside her in a close manner.

"Tell me about it?" she mumbled as she lay her head down his bare shoulders.

That was his cue to dart non-verbatim statements, "It's blurry...but I think we were having a problem."

Leni nervously chuckled, "You need to get that out of your head."

Bongbong downwardly and regretfully smiled, "Except for the fact that we are actually living that dream."

As she heard those words coming from his mouth, she came dangerously close to spilling her mug of tea. Bigla siyang napakapit sa sariling tasa at napalunok dahil mukhang dumating na ang tamang panahon para ipagtapat ang nararamdaman nito. It is either now or never, as he must have sensed it as well. Though...does she really have to do this?

"Mahal..." she started speaking in a breathing manner.

He swarmed his hands behind her waist and held her tightly, settling on the crooks of her neck, "Ayokong nakikitang nasasaktan ka, Leni. So tell me what's going on, please."

No. It's going to be unfair that I might regret it eventually. Not like this. We haven't even tried fixing it. She felt like she was being prodded from the inside of her skull by a voice, but the truth was that she had so many ideas and assertions racing through her head at the time that she was scared she may lose her mind and do something reckless. In the event that she caves in, it could result in yet another complicated misunderstanding. On the other hand, if she keeps it bottled up, it will be much more difficult and excruciating for her.