institutionalized ; muke au

three

dear luke,

they say my illness has worsened. they told me that my perversion is affecting my happiness, that because i have defied god, he's punishing me with eternally sadness. now that wasn't very nice.

i wonder if calum and ashton knew i would be so miserable here, if they'd still send me nonetheless. i have no standing point here, i am viewed as an insane psychopath and my morals are out the window as they were before.

maybe i do belong here. maybe i am going crazy. after all, i am writing to my dead boyfriend in hopes that he'll come back. is that normal, lukey? i'm not hearing voices or seeing hallucinations, so why exactly am i here then? is it because sadness nowadays is clearly seen as a threat to society, because we're all supposed to be happy teenagers with grudges against capitalism? news flash! i've never met another human being my age who's not suicidal or has attempted before.

this is all too messed up. i don't belong here, i belong in your arms. i'm not a lunatic, i don't know why i'm here.

please get me out, someone. anyone. i'm not crazy.

love always,

michael.