institutionalized ; muke au

ten*

media is not a gif but guys i'm s o emo just imagine they're holding on to each other like they never wanna let go i

dear luke,

five hours. five hours until the procedure. my body is trembling with fear and i'm scared of the outcome.

i guess since we have a limited time left, i should left everything out. so, luke...

1. i am so soso soso sos sooo soo so s o sorry about elle. if there's one thing i regret more than anything in the world, it's that i took away the love of your life. it haunts me everyday, the fact that i triggered your depression. it was me who did this, and i think about it everyday.

2. i am soososo soso soo s oo sorry for acting like a jerk when i first got imprisoned. i saw you and my first instinct was to act like someone i'm not, a huge cocky arse. i thought, wow, he's so beautiful. and i knew you could never fall in love with the real michael clifford, a 19 year old nerd obsessed with anime and video games. i acted like someone i wasn't, and that impression lasted forever. i am so terribly sorry.

3. you are so beautiful. i never got the chance to tell you when you were alive, but jesus christ, luke, you are the most gorgeous human being i could ever imagine. everything about you is perfect, and there's no doubt in my mind that i would gladly be with you for the rest of my life.

4. i am so sorry i could not save you.

5. you are the best thing to ever happen in my life.

now, they're going to prep me for my session. and, i want to benefit from this, as it was designed to do. listen, i love you. i love everything about you. i am in love with you. but, this is for me to be happy again. you, as much as i hate to admit it, are holding me back from experiencing happiness again. i can hear the doctors walking down the corridor to my cell now.

i want to forget you. as i was intended to do. i love you, my sunshine. but now, it's time for me to move on and live my life. i'm shaking and sobbing as i write this. i never want to recall any moments with you again. this is my life, i am in control now.

you were the best and worst thing to happen to me. i love you, forever and always, even if i won't remember you.

goodbye, my love.

michael.

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epilogue coming up !!

also, i just wanna clarify for everyone-

michael won't recall a n y t h i n g  about luke, killing elle, befriending cashton. i'm thinking of just him remembering who he is, and that he believes he just graduated high school.