Their Golden Heart

5 - Bang Chan

My solo photo-shoot just ended and I'm walking off the set, checking in with some of the members. One of the staff-members tells me that Hyunjin and Seungmin arrived a few minutes ago. Not wanting to bother them and their make-up artists I decide to stay here, watching the photo-shoot of the next member. Quickly glancing to my right shows me that Felix is talking to the photographer, he must be the next member then.

I walk to the closest pillar and lean against it while taking some sips of water. Felix walks onto the set and starts posing. I can't help but smile at him, he's a natural at this. He is photogenic and looks good in almost everything. He never seems to stop amazing me with how quickly his looks can switch from cute to serious. He can act like a small child, just having fun one second and be all professional the next. Felix's eyes lock on mine and he sends me a small, adorable wave, causing me to smile at him. He returns my smile with one of his own before turning back to the camera.

Changbin joins me and we just talk for a bit while Felix is finishing his photo-shoot. According to a staff-member, the group photo-shoot is supposed to be right after Felix's. Slowly the rest of the members join me and Changbin. Hyunjin and Seungmin being the lasts to join us all since they arrived the latest.

A sign from the photographer shows us that Felix's shoot is over and we all join him on the set to get the photo's taken. I of course can't walk up to Felix without giving him a compliment about his looks, which, to my satisfaction, causes him to smile brightly. We all joke around a bit allowing the photographer to take some more natural feeling pictures, instead of us all standing straight and looking at the camera. I chuckle when Felix jumps on Hyunjin's back only to be spun around fast. Changbin quickly steadies the two energetic kids when Hyunjin almost loses balance from the fast spinning.

I notice Seungmin passing in front of me and quickly wrap my arms around him, hugging him tightly. My front is pressed against his back while I lift him up slightly, just far enough for his toes to barely touch the ground. My hug seems to have flipped a switch in the head of all of the members, since all of them suddenly grab the member closest to them and start hugging them tightly. They all burst out laughing when they realise all of them had the same thought, and I of course join their laughter.

When we've all calmed down the photographer explains to us what pictures he wants to take, and we all move into the right places. A few staff-members walk in and out of frame to touch up some make-up and make sure our clothes aren't folded in weird places.

We're all focused and looking into the camera when I suddenly hear a loud smack. I snap my head towards the sound only to find Lee Knows hand on Hyunjin's butt, who was standing right in front of him. All of us burst out laughing, of course Lee Know couldn't let an opportunity like this pass.

With just a bit more joking around we finish the group photo-shoot. All of us spread out, half of us still need to get their solo photos taken and we all still need to do a few duo photo-shoots. My eyes follow Lee Know while he's walking to his make-up artist for a quick touch up. While watching him I get distracted by Han standing behind him. The boy looks completely zoned out, not realising anything that is happening around him.

The last few days this seems to be happening more and more often. I've tried to ignore it, because it happens to all of us at some point, but it's getting out of hand. During the last couple of days, him zoning out constantly has been worrying me and some other members. Usually this wouldn't be a problem, I know he'll talk to one of us eventually, but with our busy schedules I can't have the kids worry about him when they have enough to focus on already.

Deciding to ask him about it I walk up to him, softly tapping his shoulder to get him out of his thoughts. He looks at me questionably. Deciding not to beat around the bush I tell him: "We need to talk about you being distracted the past few days."

He nods at me, clearly having expected this to happen sooner or later. "Yeah, I know."

Not knowing in what direction this conversation will head, I decide to take Han to a private room, so that he won't feel like someone might be listening. The room has a large table in the middle with ten chairs around it. We both sit down on the chairs, leaving one empty chair between us two.

"I didn't want to pressure you into this. I know you'll talk to one of us eventually, but I'm not the only one wondering why you're zoning out all the time." I start, explaining him why I wanted to talk to him now. "If our schedules wouldn't be getting more and more packed, I'd have given you your space."

"I know, I just don't know what to do yet. I was planning on talking to you when I had everything figured out." Han explains.

What happened that he needs to figure out? He must have seen my confused expression since he starts explaining.

"Do you remember when I texted you a few days ago? You know that night when I went out quite late?" I nod at him, remembering it and he continues: "I just went on a walk to my favourite place when I met someone. This girl appeared out of nowhere and kind of scared me. Let's just leave it at that our meeting was quite awkward."

So he met a girl? That's what has been bothering him these days? Did she recognise him or something? Did someone see them and is he afraid of rumours spreading? Or does he-

"I know what you're thinking Chan. The answer is no. I don't have a thing for her. I don't even really know her. We barely talked that night. Her presence, it was... Comforting? Yeah, I guess I could call it that."

I smile at him while he's trying to gather his thoughts. Han isn't someone who feels comfortable with people easily, let alone someone he just met. This girl definitely has left an impression on him. "So, who is she?"

"Yeona." Han says, smiling softly.

I wait for him to continue but he stays silent. "That's it?"

"Like I said, we didn't talk much."

I can't help but chuckle at that. He did say that they barely talked, but I still expected him to know more than just a name.

"We just sat there for an hour or so. Just in silence, but it didn't feel weird at all. It was one of those comfortable silences, the ones you don't feel pressured to break. And then she suddenly had to leave." The smile that was on his face while talking suddenly disappears. "I wish I had asked her for her number. These days I keep wanting to talk to her again, maybe not even talking, I just miss her presence. I don't know why. It probably sounds stupid."

He looks at his hands that are laying in his lap and I pause before responding. "I don't think it's stupid." I slow down, choosing my next words carefully. "But you have to be realistic. You didn't ask her for her number, which you regret, but it makes the change of you seeing her again quite small." He finally looks up meeting my eyes. He looks at me, a sad expression plastered on his face. I take a deep breath before continuing: "We can't afford you being distracted all the time because of someone you might never see again."

Han nods slowly. "I know, I just keep wondering about what if I'd asked her number."

It's clear to me that the girl already means something to him. "Is there a way you could meet her? Maybe going to the same place once more?" His face lights up hearing my idea. "If she isn't there, then please try to get her out of your head so you can focus on our upcoming songs." I say, not wanting to seem harsh, but I need him to be realistic.

"You're right, thank you Chan." He gives me a bright smile and I smile back softly. I truly hope that he'll find the girl, their first interaction isn't one that he'll encounter often.

I stand up, squeezing his shoulder lightly as I'm walking past him, leaving him alone with his thoughts.