Their Golden Heart

28 - Lee Felix

Yeona has left about half an hour ago. The girl said she felt awful, having a bad hangover and wanting nothing more but lay in her own bed. Understanding this as some of us are not feeling any better, Han offered to walk her home, which she gladly excepted.

Thankfully I, myself, am not feeling too bad. The small headache pounding in my head when I woke up has fully disappeared after some pain medication.

Some parts of last night are hazy, some completely forgotten. But one part, one part is as clear as if I wasn't drunk at all. Last night, Yeona and I kissed. I remember it so vividly, too vividly. It doesn't make sense at all. Why would we have kissed, we're just friends.

This morning Yeona never once mentioned it. With the rest of the night being such a haze, I can't help but feel like I made it all up. Maybe it was some weird drunk based dream?

Not feeling like going over this again I push myself up from the couch I've been sitting on for the past hour. Looking around the dorm, I find Chan in his room.

Knocking on the door I announce my presence, the older male turning towards me with a smile. "Felix!" His smile falls ever so slightly. "What's up," he asks.

Chan knows me too well, I know that my emotions are quite often visible on my face, but Chan can read them the best. Even when I try to hide it, he always seems to know what I'm thinking.

"It's about last night," I start, to which Chan motions for me to sit down next to him. Putting his phone down he offers me his full attention. "I kissed Yeona," I blurt out, only to quickly add: "At least I think I did." None of this makes sense, I must sound so stupid right now. Sighing I try to gather my thoughts, thankful for Chan's silence. "I don't know it either, Chan. I remember kissing Yeona." My eyes dart around the room, almost as if I'm panicking. "Why do I remember kissing Yeona?"

Chan's hand lands on mine. "Because you did."

"What?!" My eyes shoot up to Chan. "How d'you know?" I wonder out loud, not understanding how he could be so sure while I'm doubting my own memories.

"Because I saw it you dummy," Chan chuckles. My face must have showed my confusion as Chan starts explaining. "I remember because I wasn't drunk, unlike you two." Chan cocks his eyebrow at me, as to scold me for being so drunk. I just roll my eyes in response, we planned to get drunk, he knew that.

"We all were on our way outside when I noticed you and Yeona missing. Since only me and Lee Know where sober, I went back in alone, leaving Lee Know to watch over the others. When I came back in to find you two, I saw you two. Kissing. Intensely." Chan closes his eyes, his mouth falling into a thin line.

I can feel my cheeks flush, that must have been so embarrassing for him. And us, if we had seen him there.

"I was definitely not expecting it, so you could say I was shocked," Chan chuckles. "I just turned around, not wanting to watch you two make out. When I glanced back a minute later your tongues were back in your own mouth-,"

"Chan!" I groan at him, hiding my face in my hands. Did he really have to put it that way?

"You two were still really close, your foreheads touching as you two stared into each other's eyes. And I have to admit, you two looked cute. I then just walked up to you two, telling you that the others were already outside. You both quickly followed me out and with the group now complete we drove home."

To say that I was shocked by Chan's story was a understatement. I was absolutely terrified.

I kissed Yeona.
And she kissed me back.

With my mind racing a mile a minute I could do nothing more then relive that moment over and over again. I actually kissed her. I kissed Han's friend. I kissed my own friend? Are we even still friends? Friends don't kiss each other, right? At least not on the lips, and definitely not with tongue.

Does Yeona remember it too? Did she not say anything because she didn't dare too? Or did she keep quiet because she doesn't want to talk about it. What if she thinks about it as just a stupid drunk mistake.

Was it just a drunk mistake? Do I want it to be just a drunk mistake?

"Felix?" Chan softly says, his hand finding its way to my shoulder. "Felix, look at me." Hesitantly my eyes found his. He must be able to see all of my thoughts swirling in them. "Don't overthink it okay, try to calm your thoughts."

He's right. Overthinking this won't do me any good.

"What do you remember? Do you remember anything before or after?"

I shake my head slowly. "I don't remember much that far into the night. That's why it confuses me that I remember that moment so vividly."

Chan hums softly, nodding slowly. My eyes are locked on his, hoping for some good advise from him.

"Was it a mistake?" he suddenly asks, causing my eyes to widen in surprise.

"What?"

"Was it a mistake?" he repeats, "Kissing her, was it a mistake."

I open my mouth to respond with a no, only to hesitate, the word lingering on my lips, but remaining unspoken. "I don't know, Chan. I was drunk."

Chan sighs, his eyes finding mine. "Let me rephrase it then. Would you do it again?"

My eyes widen slightly at that. My mind instantly racing with a million thoughts. Would I kiss her again? Did I like the kiss? I definitely didn't dislike it. I barely notice my mouth slowly fading into a small smile at that thought, but Chan clearly noticed. Leaning backwards against the couch he smirks at me, his eyes filled with a knowing look.

"Chan," I whine at him, feeling my cheeks flush again. Looking away from him I know I won't need to answer his question for him to know, yet I still do. "Yeah, I'd do it again," I say, only for my eyes to widen. I quickly add: "Wait. No. I wouldn't. I don't have the balls for that." Chan chuckles at that. "I probably won't, but I wouldn't mind it happening?" I sheepishly add, hiding my face in my hands once more.

Chan's hands wrap around my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. He looks at me with soft eyes. Taking my hands in his he gives them a soft squeeze.

"Then it wasn't a drunk mistake," Chan explains, "Which means, you need to talk to Yeona, to see if she's on the same page."

I stare at Chan, my mouth slightly agape and worry clouding my thoughts. Talk to her? As in asking her about the kiss? She didn't talk about it for a reason, right? What if she doesn't remember at all? I can't just go up to her saying 'Hey remember how we drunkenly kissed?'  Yeah no. I can't do that.

Chan must have seen the worry in my eyes, as he sighs sadly. "Don't think too much about it Lix. Who knows, maybe she'll bring it up first. Just give her, and yourself, some time to gather your thoughts and feelings."