I woke up. It's dark, the TV is turned off and Tom is not laying by my side anymore.
I took my phone from the nightstand and looked at the time. It's 10:26 PM. I can't believe I fell asleep so early. I got up and went downstairs to find Tom, but to my disappointed, it looks like he disappeared.I kept walking until saw a light under the door from Tom's office. Why is he working this late at night? What if he knows that I was there?
I slowly opened the door and saw Tom turned around, sitting on a chair and looking at some documents.
I knocked on the opened door. He abruptly turned around.
Y/n: Hi...
Tom: What are you doing here? I told you, you can't come in here when you're not allowed to!
Y/n: Yeah, but you're already here. I couldn't ask.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes.
Tom: Why aren't you sleeping?
Y/n: I fell asleep too soon. My body just woke me up...
Tom: Go back to sleep.
He said sternly.
He turned back around to the table.
Y/n: What about you? Why can't you come with me? What are you doing in here this late at night?
Tom: That's none of your business! Now leave my fucking office!
He raised his voice.
He didn't even look at me. Why is he acting like this?! He's texting me how I'm switching moods so fast, but what he's doing is okay?! Fine! I will leave, but not without shouting back!
Y/n: Huh, and you're telling me, that I am the one who is switching moods so fast?! Look at you Mr. Perfect! What are you doing!?
He turned around and looked at me, looking very displeased that I'm talking back.
Tom: Y/n, please leave me the fuck alone! You're not fucking allowed to be here, so go!!
He yelled.
Y/n: Fine!
I slammed the door shut and walked back upstairs to the bedroom.
Gosh why is he so difficult!? If I'm so moody, what is he then!??!
I laid back on the bed, but couldn't fall asleep while being mad. And I'm still thinking about him.. He's my everything.. I just want him. I want to be with him. Right now. Even when he yelled at me. But I bet that he doesn't feel this way right now. He's mad at me for literally no reason! I was just standing between the door, doing absolutely fucking nothing and he almost shit himself!
Now I can't believe I was eating for him in the evening when I didn't want to! Fucking bastard!
I got up and went to the bathroom, which's just next to our bedroom. I leaned against the sink and looked in the mirror. I'm calculating how mad I am. I have this thought in my head, but I don't know if it's worth it. I've done it couple times when I was really mad at myself, because of food. But I don't know if I'm THAT mad right now...
Sometimes, when I'm depressed that I ate too much, I just....put my fingers into the back of my neck and vomit. That's why I'm calculating now. I don't know if it's that bad.
Tom is downstairs on the other side of the house. He wouldn't hear me if I was quiet enough.
I don't really want to do it, but I have this voice in my head that's telling me to do it...I knelt down to the toilet and just stared at it. Damn, I don't know. Every time when I finally kneel down, the voice in my head stops and I get scared of throwing up. But as soon as I stand up, it's back again.
I stayed kneeling for 5 minutes. I tried to put my fingers inside my mouth, but I stopped and just couldn't do it.
That's enough. I've been here long enough. I'm a coward. A mother fucking coward.
I stood up, turned the lights off, walked back to the bedroom and closed the door. Suddenly, I heard steps and the door flew open, revealing Tom in between them. He walked in and closed the door quietly, only to stare at me.
Tom: Y/n-
Y/n: Save it Tom.
I turned around and walked to the bed, but 2 strong arms suddenly wrapped around my waist from behind. I turned around to face him.
Y/n: What do you want?
He pressed his forehead against mine.
Tom: Baby girl, I'm sorry for yelling at you. I fucked up. I wasn't even mad at you, I was mad at someone else.
Y/n: Why are you always doing that...?
Tom: What?
Y/n: You do something stupid and then you come back and regret it so much.
Tom: .....
Y/n: Just think before you do it so you don't have to apologize later..!
I pushed him away and tried to go to bed, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him. He started kissing me passionately, as his hands went under my butt and lifted me up. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked to bed and sat on it with me on his lap. His hands slid down on my ass and that's when I pushed against him chest and broke the kiss.
Tom: Darling, I'm sorry. I love you so much and I don't want to argue with you anymore. I just want to be with you...
It's funny how quick his moods are changing. I started playing with his hair on the back of his head.
Why is it always so easy for me to forgive him? Everything he needs to do is apologize, look at me with his beautiful eyes, maybe kiss me, and then suddenly, I'm so weak to say no.
Y/n: It's okay...I'm sorry too..
Tom: You don't have to apologize. You just went after me and I sent you away.. That wasn't fair..
He pulled me closer to him.
Y/n: Well... it's in the past now. It doesn't matter anymore..
Tom: It does to me. I didn't mean to hurt you...
I leaned closer and kissed him. He was more than willing to kiss back. We were making out for 5 minutes, but then our mouths became sore.
Y/n: Let's just go to sleep, alright?
Tom: Yeah...
He whispered.
I got off him and laid down on the bed, with my back towards him. I could hear him lay down behind me.
Tom: Darling..?
Y/n: Mhm?
Tom: Can we cuddle?
I smiled and flipped on my back and open my arms.
Y/n: Come here.
He smiled back, fell into my arms, rested his head on my chest, wrapped his arms around my waist and intertwined his legs with mine. Me being me, I can't leave his fluffy hair alone. And just like that, we both fell asleep.
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Y/n & Tom Holland <spicy>
FanfictionHe crashed his lips into mine, picked me up, went over to his double bed and laid me down, without breaking the kiss. He took off his pants, before he joined me in bed and towered over me. He took his shirt off, in one swift motion, putting his abs...