The boy who failed to die.

Year 1 chapter 12

A phoenix sits perched on the desk of Albus, a massive clock decorated the interior and tells me it is 15:45, my nails bite into my hand and I wait for someone to fucking talk.

We've been sat for the past few minutes in silent and I will not be the one to break.

I smile politely to Minerva and show her the innocent look she so wishes to be real. I divert my attention to the elderly Headmaster and stare him straight in the eyes. It is a play of dominance and I will not loose.

After a few seconds he looks away and clears his throat.

"Mr. Potter, we wish to ask you to stop this spiteful behaviour you are showing towards your brother, he has been through a storm and will shortly go through another worst than the last. He deserves a bit of peace before that,"

I continue to look at him saying nothing. I will not give him any answers I see no need to converse with him. He told me to go to his office he is the one who wished to speak with me. If wanted a two way conversation then he should have let this be a mutually arranged appointment.

As if that would have ever happened.

"Mr. Potter, we understand that you are angry that you don't receive as much attention and fame as your brother does but his fame has come at a dear price and so the extra attention he receives is to help him get through the pain he suffers,"

Pain? He doesn't know the meaning of the damned word. Pain is where you feel your heart being ripped from your chest time and time again being glued back in your tears and blood acting as a foundation and glue to keep your heart alive in your broken body.

Pain is where you're at breaking point, you can feel yourself slowly loosing your sanity and just wish it was all over, pain is needed you feel hollow and feel numb and get feel everything there is to feel. How could he bet understand that?

I betray nothing of which I feel and raise an eyebrow waiting for whatever else it is this old man has to say.

"Show some damned respect, he is your headmaster and the greatest wizard since Merlin," I give him an unamused look. Albus is weak and frail, he uses fancy words and empty threats of comfort and love to hide that fact, but he can't, not forever.

My silence is pissing james off. Good.

I cover my smirk with my hand when he bangs his hand against the hard wooden table. James' hazel eyes scream hate, his clean shaved face is sneering and he looks at me nothing but hate showing.

"Harry, we do love you, but your brother is special he needs more love and kindness and affection than you do, you've been fine without it until now, you've survived and you will continue to," I look into the eyes that I was forced to inherit and I show no more emotion for her than I did my last two opponents, just as I show my worthless brother no emotions.

I won't allow her words to affect me, I won't allow her to get to me. I am stronger than all of them and if I let them get to me now I will be done for sure. Again I say nothing, not caring to grace them with my answers.

"Harry, you won Quidditch that is my game I am the champion of that! You cheated and I want you to give me my title. Ever since you came here you have taken what is rightfully mine, you have ruined everything," Charlie is right up in my face glaring at me and I force myself not to retort.

If he was the champion he would of won, i he ed the best he would of won. I don't need to cheat to win, I've not taken anything that didn't belong to me and I won't argue that I have ruined everything and I will ruin so much more.

I can't wait to see their perfect kingdom spelt fall to the ground in ashes.

I look at Minerva to see what she has to say but she, as I expected looked at me with the same wounded puppy look.

"Oh guys, come now I believe we're being a bit harsh on Harry. He didn't mean to harm anyone and only wanted to have fun and fit in with the rest of the boys his age, he really is a credit and a smart powerful young man. Let's remember he is just a boy,"

I nod my head in agreement making sure to dramatically do so.

"You may leave now Mr. Potter," I do as they say and leave but before I close the door james calls me back.

"Harry, no matter what you do or say your brother is our priority and hating him won't make us love you anymore,"

I nod my head and smirk no emotion on my face or in my eyes.

"James, never forget what you've created. Do not mistake my silence for weakness. I will not apologise for the monster you will come against for no one will apologise for making me this way, when I am done you will soon understand why it is that storms are in fact named after people,"

His hazel eyes narrow and before he can retort I leave.

I walk from his office and out of the castle grounds, I don't run, I don't go fast I just walk unknowing where my final destination is as my thoughts take over my being.

The battle in my heart and head is making itself known so hard to ignore.

I feel it brewing and I feel time running out. I'm a disappointment, an abomination, they all wish I was dead but here I am alive. I never asked for this yet doubts whisper their opinions telling me how there was never any other way this could of been.

I was never loved and it wasn't in my destiny for that to ever be the case.

I stop and close my eyes I breathe in the fresh air of the cold winter. I open my eyes and see trees 100 feet high, plants covered by a thick cover of snow, animals hibernating in the trees and huts Hagrid no doubt left for them.

Very few animals are still out now, my familiar is with me, coiled around my arm desperately trying to warm his cold skin.

I take my wand and cast a body warning spell, I didn't know if it would work on a snake but the way he hissed and relaxed tells me it did.

I church down closer to the snow, my thoughts still at The forefront of my mind and I feel my magic building. I don't know what I did, why I am so unlovable but I swear I will make them regret it.

If they wish for me to be unlovable I am at least going to give them a real reason, I won't be the perfect, malleable son they wish for me to be, a sacrifice, a lamb to the slaughter for their precious son.

I rise from my crouching position the forest humming with dark magic around me. The sun has long since been set and the darkness coddles and soothes me like never before.

The ache in my chest matches the one I've got in my head.

I shake my head and shake off the feelings I shouldn't be feeling. My face is set to stone and my heart is trapped in a fortress as I near the enchanting lights of Hogwarts school.

The snow is set in the ground shining in the light of moon. Thanks to the body warming spell I can bathe in the sight of the snow.

Christmas break is soon to come and soon very soon phase 2 of my plan will be under way. My whole plan may take years to complete but that matters not. I have all the time in the world.