Shattered Shenanigans

19: Scrapheap

They made it to their shared berthroom, one of them moody. "How you can put up with this for over a week is a wonder." Ratchet started.

"It is not that bad." Optimus started as they sat down on their berths.

Ratchet scoffed, "With all their harassment-"

"They haven't been-" Optimus started.

"Well now that I'm here, they wouldn't dare." Ratchet grumbled. Oh no, he's thinking he's the 'top dog' again.

"No Ratchet they haven't." Optimus started.

"Oh please, with how Megatron's been looking at you, you mean to tell me he hasn't harassed you?" Ratchet started.

Optimus thought on it, "He held his cannon to my helm, but I had just stabbed Breakdown." He said.

Ratchet blinked, "What? No, that's not what I mean-"

"What do you mean?" Optimus asked.

"He's trying to get in your pants." He said, like he was pointing out the obvious.

"I don't wear pants?" Optimus asked, confused.

"Erm, human saying-He's trying to get in your plating."

"He's a bit big for that?"

Ratchet spluttered. "How would you know?"

"He's taller than me." Optimus stated, Ratchet's time with the evil Autobots must have been stressful. "If he were the size of a scraplet- maybe-"

"No, what? Never mind." Ratchet huffed and laid down.

"You are recharging?" Optimus asked in surprise.

"Yes." Ratchet grumbled and powered down. "Having a break from that predator." He added.

Some recharge will really do him some good. "He's not a predator." Optimus mumbled.

"An opportunist then." Ratchet grumbled and started to power down. Weird, Optimus followed soon after.

-

-

They awoke in the morning later than they would have liked. They slept in (by Ratchet's definition) and only woke up thanks to a large, vibrating, 'thunk'. Ratchet let out a grumble, "So ignorant."

"We should probably help." Optimus noted but could not be bothered to get up.

"No we shouldn't." Ratchet shot back. Okay then they'll just lay here and be unproductive.

And lay there they did. That was untill they started to hear weird sounds. At least Optimus heard weird sounds, he had the better audial receptors. Or Ratchet wasn't acknowledging the sounds, either way, there were weird sounds.

"Argh!" Ratchet grumbled and sat up, "What are they-"

"So you hear it?" Optimus asked, of course he heard it, he wouldn't have reacted if he didn't.

"Yes." Ratchet grumbled and tapped the wall. The noise stopped for a bit then continued. "Hrmp?" Ratchet started and Optimus got up and decided to check the vent.

He not even a second after he got the vent off, he was assaulted. "Jeepers!" He exclaimed and shook his servo to fling it off.

"What are 'jeepers'- Arrrrggh!" Ratchet shrieked and jumped on the berth.

Meanwhile, Optimus started shooting and one shot hit. They stared at the remains, soaking it up.

"No." Ratchet started.

"No?" Optimus started.

"Not again! I'm leaving, you are too-" Ratchet yelped and started to drag Optimus along.