A F F E C T I O N

f o u r

"Ree," she squeals when you sneak up behind her, letting your fingers trail ticklishly up her sides.

Riel, I want to snarl. His name is Riel.

I remember when we used to laugh at those people, the ones who called you that. You'd stand with your arm around me, tucking my shoulder securely against you, chuckling softly and talking to Aymes about something completely inconsequential between the complaints about the nickname. You always hated nicknames.

This jealousy, the sick feeling permeating my stomach, through my body like a virus, is distressingly horrible. This is possibly the first time I ever felt this way, and it hurts.

It's embarrassing. I just want to stop seeing you. And her. And you and her be all cute and happy and coupled.

"Caro," my sister loops her arm with mine, smelling like Taylor Swift perfume and deodorant. "What's up?"

"Nothing." I sigh. You release her and she takes books out of her locker while you lean beside it.

Your eyes find mine and catch; I get lost for a minute. Two.

"Okay, no." Maya tugs my arm until we're careening down another hallway, her wedges thumping forcefully against the linoleum. "I can't let you do that."

"Do what?" I sigh again, feeling both empty and full; empty of affection, full of hatred and jealousy and pain.

"Stare at him all pathetically."

"I don't think that's a word, Maya."

"It is of I want it to be. Want to... um, hurt her?"

"No."

"Why not?" Her voice takes on a teasing whine. She pouts her pink glossy lips and stops walking. We're just outside of the teacher's lounge.

"Because that's stupid." I reach forward anyway, and wrap my arms around her shoulders. She hugs me back tightly. "Love you for trying, though."
***
um okay so is it just me or does the style suck i feel like i suck at second person im sorry.

But I've had the name riel in my back pocket for a few months now, which you'd notice if you read my last two books since the name was used for minor characters ;) but this ones 4 realz kk

i just reread depths- wrestling naked and it's so good it's perf i hope it gets published!!