A F F E C T I O N

n i n e t e e n

You're walking next to me, your arm kind of swinging and almost touching mine with each pass.

I'm trying to just be unaware because you have a girlfriend and all I can think about it pushing you into the alley and letting you push me up against the dirty building and do unspeakable things. Although I'd be fine if you spoke them, too.

"Does Annabel know that's we're..." talking? Walking together on a Sunday afternoon? Brushing fingertips?

"I told her."

"Hmm."

"So...have you started studying for exams yet?"

I snort, and you smile fondly at me. "What do you think?"

"We can study together if you want."

"Okay." Okayokayokayokayokayokay.

"So, are you and Maya gonna come to the soccer games again?" You tuck your hands into your pockets, and I do the same thing.

"She totally wants to." I just want to touch you. Just once. If you'd let me.

"You should."

I shrug dismissively, but on the inside I'm doing backflips and buying shoes. It's pathetic and stupid but I just can't help it.

I still love you, and you don't even realize.

Or maybe you don't want to.

/E N D O F P H A S E F O U R