Scales and Swords ✓

64: Loving You Freely

Never had I drunk alcohol, but when I first did I drank so much that I couldn't walk straight, I talked about every possible thing and laughed at absolutely nothing. Where I usually spent eons contemplating conversing with a stranger I did so without a second thought.

I danced my every sorrow away till I was out of breath and sweaty. I stumbled away from the main hall in search of the cool night air. I wandered out to a balcony that overlooked the palace garden. Blending into the dark of night was a tall shadowy figure by the balcony's edge.

He turned to see who had intruded his solitaire. For a moment neither of us say a word nor move an inch. Then with a abrupt intake of air he pushed himself away from the rails and stepped past me.

"No," I said all too quickly, grabbing his hand. "I'll go."

Philip glanced at my hand on his then at me, a chaotic kind of blaze burning in his eyes. His huge hand pried mine away. "Don't make things difficult. I'll leave."

At that I stepped into his path. "Am I that difficult?"

He released a grunt. One minute I was standing defiant against him the next I was trapped between the balcony rails and him. His face mere inches from mine and remaining only at that distance.

"If I, " I murmured, "kiss you right now, would you kiss me back?"

His jaw locked and his eyes darkened. He moved to close the distance. But he missed. His cheek brushed past mine and he hung his head over my shoulder. His rough breaths filling my ear. 

I only needed to turn my head for my nose to be in his hair. It would've been a waste if I hadn't. "You're so unfair." I whispered it into his ear like it was our dirty little secret. "You'd fight for everyone but not for us."

He pulled away. "Oh 'cause you're so fair!" He looked almost betrayed as he motioned at me. "Wearing that—looking like that—" he groaned.

His words came and went. I stepped closer. "Am I not a woman to you, is that it?"

He folded his arms over his chest and stood his ground. "You're drunk."

"You want to keep me safe, you're scared you might break me. What am I to you really?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

We met each other half way. He stared down at me, conflicted. "You're everything I'm not. You're kind and warm, you're full of light and hope. You're the only woman who truly completes me. And now that I have you I don't ever wanna let you go. But...but—"

I gripped his tie and tugged him close, smashing his lips onto mine. At first he doesn't return the kiss, he's surprised almost, but my sanity if I had still had it went down the drain, and so did his. After a moment he returns my fervor, coupled with the intensity of his own. It's a moment of indulgence after starvation.

We broke away, panting, only for a moment. And when we kissed again, our lips weren't the only things that touch. It's a blurr and a breeze, his hands ran down my hips, over my behind and gripped me by the thighs. He hefted me with ease and carried me away. Chest against chest, our hearts raced alongside one another.

But as the kisses deepened and less and less skin were left untouched the more I knew the longer we went on the closer we would get to a decision I'd regret. My hands slipped away and our bodies froze.

He was half way across the room in an instant, guilt etched into his features. Curses flew out his mouth as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Sorry." Voice hoarse and heavy with regret. He didn't look at me as he said it. "I shouldn't have touched you." Then his eyes met mine and every inch of my bare skin burned. I longed to simply disappear. I felt choked and ashamed. My hands flew to cover my scaly chest.