Azul pt 1

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The silver haired boy awakes to a scream and hands on his shoulders. He jolts, looking over to his friend, the Ramshackle prefect, who has tears in the corners of their eyes. Azul feels them before he sees them- the familiar flap of his gills against his torso, the webbing between his hands, the tentacles thrashing and curled in the bedsheets. With a wave of anxiety he lets out a muffled yelp, throwing himself over the side of the bed and trying to race to the bathroom to the best of his ability, mind racing with every second that passes as his tentacles grip and pull on the furniture that lay in the path to his personal bathroom, pulling down tables and vases in a frenzy.. He can distinctly make out the sound of his friend's voice as he slams the door behind him, curling into himself against the cold tile floor. 

They hate you, his mind tells him, prompting another wave of agony over the poor boy. Why else would they scream? They're disgusted. 

He remembers the look on his friend's face, the way they gaped at him as his body was revealed when he pulled away the silk sheets, the sound of their panicked scream that awoke him from a peaceful slumber. 

He ruined it. Everything they've shared over their short friendship- the late nights in his office, tutoring sessions, the drinks Floyd would let them experiment with when Mostro wasn't busy, the countless days and nights spent just talking about whatever either of them had on their mind, the late night sleepovers- now destroyed as if they were all pieces of parchment cast out to sea, to be swallowed and destroyed by the waves.

He grips a tentacle in one hand, squeezing it in his anger and humiliation, sending a spike of pain through the limb. Azul drops it, grabbing his head and curling into himself to the best of his ability. He grips and pulls at his wavy silver locks, finding comfort in the pain the action brings. The throb of his scalp a reminder of what he had just put them through, of what he deserved. Azul knew things were going to end like this- why wouldn't they? It's the same it was all those years ago, his overblot changed nothing about that fact. 

He felt as if he was drowning, an experience he thought he would never get. His gills were full of putty, his brain pounding in his skull as he choked and sobbed onto the floor, the lines of clean white grout now stained with the black ink that seeps from his eyes and mouth. Every action, every thought another nail into the coffin that was his grief, a part of him hopes that this would be the last, that he could go back to the solace that was loneliness. 

He could go back to how he was before their warmth, before their kindness and heartfelt advice. 

Azul lets out another sob, knowing that he could never return to that time. He wanted their warmth, craved it more than he ever had at the bottom of the sea, he was a glutton for their generosity, for their kind ears that listen to his every thought and worry, for their smile that would always relax him. He couldn't go back- not that he had a choice now. He was going to be forced back into his octopot when, for the first time in his life, he wanted to be outside of it.

"'Zul?!" Knocks at the door make him gasp and a hand shoots to his mouth, muffling his sobs as he flicks the end of the tentacle, locking the door. "Azul!"

"Go away!" He chokes out, voice strained as he coughs out more of his sorrow, ink splattering the floor and  pristine white shower curtains. 

"Azul, please!" He feels a pang of anger, of annoyance that burns in his chest as he fights back the urge to scream at them, to throw things at the door until they're forced to leave, to curl up in a ball and disappear between the tile, to cry and cry and cry until nobody can bother him anymore; until they're too disgusted to even try. Gritting his teeth he bites his tongue and climbs into the cold, porcelain tub, turning on the water and feeling a wave of relief at the water that rushes over him, seeping into his gills and coating his tentacles. He rests his head beneath the spout, allowing the pounding of the water to block out the sounds of his friend's shouts and knocks from the door. 

He waits until he's submerged, half the tub full by the time he realizes the knocking had stopped. He peeks over the edge of the tub, a wave of guilt washing over him when he sees a shadow peeking out from beneath the door, the prefect's quiet humming emanating from the other side. He gulps, watching the shadow shift as an inky tear slides down his pale violet cheek, sniffling as he reaches out a hesitant tentacle. 

Doubt fills his mind and he pulls back, sinking even deeper into the icy water, not caring that it was now spilling out over the side and dripping onto the tile. The drain in the center of the bathroom swallows each and every stream, and Azul wants nothing more than to dissolve into sea foam. 

The humming stops, and Azul's ear fins flare as he tries to hear their unsteady breaths. 

"Azul?" He hears their quiet whimper, his strong, brave, beautiful prefect on the verge of tears. All because of him. "Please-"

He crawls out of the tub slowly, the wet slapping sounds that echo throughout the room as he crawls closer to the door making him want to hide away in embarrassment and disgust. He clicks the lock once more before quickly slinking into the tub. He hides his body to the bets of his ability, hearing the door click and swing open. 

"A-Azul?" He hears them hiss a bit as the sound of splashing water sounds throughout the bathroom. 

"Don't look," He whispers, barely audible and too tired to put up a fight. "Please..."

"I-I won't, if you don't want me to." He feels them get closer, and then pause before they reach the tub, crouching and crawling over to the edge, sitting with their back to the porcelain. 

"You're going to catch a cold. Cold water isn't good for humans," He scolds lightly and is met with their soft chuckle, which turns into sniffles, which then turns into quiet sobs. The cecaelia is at a loss for what he could do- the best thing he could think of being to simply sit and listen to their choked whimpers. "I'm-"

"I was so scared..." They whimper, breath hitching as he watched their shoulders shake. He pauses, looking away as guilt fills his system, his doubts confirmed. He scared them. His true form- the one he's hated for years, the monstrous one, the one they'd been forced to endure during his overblot...

"I thought I lost you."

He pauses, a sound of surprise escaping his mouth. Lost him?

"I-I woke up, and saw that you were in your merform..." They sniffle. "And I thought you couldn't breathe! I was shaking you b-but you wouldn-wouldn't wake up!" They burst into tears again, Azul slowly reaching over and patting their head, relief and the warmth he'd been craving coming back int his system. "I-I didn't see you move at all..."

"You thought-" He gulps. "I was dead?" They let out another muffled sob. 

"I'm sorry!" They mumble. "I shouldn't have pushed seeing you, but I was so worried, I didn't want to hurt you-" Their rambling is cut off by Azul's thoughts as the mer gapes, raising himself higher in the tub to watch his friend's back heave with each breath. Oh his sweet, kind, patient prefect- He felt as though his heart was going to burst with affection. Before he knew it, one of his tentacles had slipped out of the tub and wrapped itself around their wrist affectionately. 

"I..." He takes a breath, sitting with his back to them on the other side of the tub, submerged to his neck. "I should apologize as well-"

He feels a hand land on his shoulder, one that he holds gingerly in his own, cold webbed hand. He knows that they were going to have to talk about this more later, that they would need to have a proper discussion about the events of the morning- if it was even that. Azul remembers the aquarium near his room still being bathed in darkness, not yet illuminated with the artificial sunlight that simulates night and day in the dorm.

But right now the only thing that matters to Azul is the prefect's warm hand clasping his own, and the gentle way they hold his tentacle close to him, and their shared, shaky breaths filling the otherwise silent room. 

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