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tired

Ruggie Bucchi was tired.

From as early on as he could remember, he was always on his feet. He felt as though there was always some sort of darkness trying to grab him- clawing at his worn clothing and creeping into the crevices of his mind when he slept at night, stirring in his sleep until his grandmother would console him. If he slowed down, the darkness would hold onto him and not let go. 

Everyone in his hometown ran. They ran and ran and ran for their own darknesses were lurking behind every corner and just itching to grab ahold of them and drag them down. 

Ruggie had seen how long his grandmother had been running- how her back ached day in and day out, her wobbly knees barely supporting her once muscular frame and how her experienced eyes seemed to simply stare sometimes- not at anything or anyone in particular, just a blank stare at the horizon, or a soft, sad gaze that would trail over his features as she crouched in front of him, shaking hands clasped firmly around his too-thin shoulders as she pulled him into a bone-crushing hug when she apologized over and over again- explaining that they couldn't afford to make him something special for his birthday. 

He didn't want to drag her with him when he knew that she had her own darkness to battle. He chose to run alone. 

He saw what would happen to those who stopped running. He would walk through his neighborhood and see the blank stares of those who fell into the darkness' trap. The way their eyes glazed over as they sat slumped against the houses, surrounded by alcohol bottles and their breathing shallow as though they were already at death's door, their senseless rambles as their energy slowly depletes as the darkness soaks in their livelihood.

The thought of the same happening to him terrified him, so he ran. 

He ran as a child, sneaking into the city while his grandmother was working and stealing whatever caught his eye. He would come back hours later, often bruised and bleeding from when he would get caught, but he would have enough to feed him and his grandmother for the week. He would carry armfuls of anything he could find- fresh or spoiled- and help his neighbors try to make them edible. 

He had run when he was finally old enough to work, running errands for people and working countless jobs day and night- even when his legs threatened to give out beneath him and he was seeing double around him. Even when he barely had the energy to keep his eyes open while he was bussing tables or sweeping floors, even when his smile was forced -the small movement only worked to burn up energy that he didn't have. 

He still ran- he worked to learn how to read and write, he worked to develop his magic even though there was nobody around to teach him how, he worked to make sure that everyone in his neighborhood laughed every day, to keep a smile on their faces. He made jokes and played games even though every step made his feet feel as though they were on fire and his legs and back ached and longed to rest.

Most days he would only be able to get a few hours of sleep before he had to wake up and work again, often leaving his house on an empty stomach (although his grandmother tried her hardest to make sure he ate). He would run until late at night until he could get his first and last meal of the day.

The day he got accepted into Night Raven College was the happiest and saddest day of his life. He was ecstatic to finally find the thread that he was looking for- the small thread being his only hope to help everyone out once and for all. An opportunity to get a real education, to hone his skills, and build his resume. A chance to get his grandmother a nice bed and clothes, to give the neighborhood kids real toys like the ones they tell him about when they go to the market with their families. 

Ruggie cried in his grandmother's arms that night, feeling as though he was abandoning those he loved more than anything. He wasn't given much as a child, so he cherished and protected those who he held dear as though they were worth all the gold in the royal treasury. He promised to send money back, begged his grandmother to tell him if anything was wrong or if they needed something. She sighed and asked him to rest, for he had a busy day the next day.