"Vulgora, where is Volta?"
"The Countess sent her off with the Worm Man to the docks for something. Why? What do you want from the pipper squeaker?"
"I have some... hazardous material to dispose of and she is ever so helpful at.. disposal," The Quaestor held a tray full of jagged needles and a few vials of expired embalming liquids.
"Are those for your pickling?" Vulgora asked, a genuine look of curiosity on their face.
"What. It is not 'pickling', are you daft?" Utterly offended, Valdemar's often cold and static gaze was interrupted by a brief bout of shock that someone could possibly think the art of corpse preservation was anything like pickling.
"HA! YOU THINK I, THE MIGHTY VULGORA, AM DAFT?? WE SHALL SEE ABOUT THAT!" In a fit of fury and challenged pride, Vulgora grabbed a jar from the tray and shoved the entire thing into their mouth.
More than one sickening shatter later, the pontifex had a mouth full of blood and glass, hidden behind a triumphant smile.
"SHEE, SHFFOOL? TASHTED JUSHT LIKE PICKLESH," completely undeterred by what very well would have killed nearly anyone else, Vulgora grabbed a few more vials and even a couple of the used needles, tossing them into their mouth like appetizers.
"Had I known you were so good at waste disposal, I would have spared young Volta the displeasure of eating all my biohazards."
Vulgora blushed a bit, even if the praise was demeaning, was still enough to give them pause briefly, before retorting the demon doctor.
"HAD I KNOWN YOU WERE SHO, uhhh, WHATEVERSH PICKLE FASHE, AT LEASHT IM NOT GREEN!" The pontifex gave a great chortle at their own joke, spraying blood and broken metal and glass all over the floor and Valdemar's uniform.
It was Valdemar's turn to blush this time, though, with a different shade of flustered.
"I. Am. Not. A. Pickle."
"Have you looked in a mirror? AHAH-"
Vulgora's laugh was cut short as the world went dark. Valdemar pulled the needle from their neck and carefully placed it on the tray.
"That's one annoyance dealt with, if only for 28 hours," They looked down at the sleeping pontifex, a small, unusually warm smile spread across their lips.
"You're.. far more... tolerable, when you're unconscious, pontifex,"
**
This was inspired by 2amresearches Courtier Headcannons! :3 I thought Vulgora eating anything they were challenged to was hilarious lol
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RomanceSmut, fluff, and all sorts of Arcana Stuff!! Plenty of courtier content also! I know there's a lack of it on here, I plan to change that. Feel free to leave comments and tell me what you did or didn't like and I promise to get back to you :3 I own...
