Long Live The King | Villain!PghLFilms AU | BOOK ONE

Chapter 12 - "Always." - Spidella's POV

Content Warning:
This chapter contains:
-Angst.
-Self-Degrading.
-Minor self-injury.

Please proceed with caution, or skip this chapter. This chapter may be triggering for some, so please take it carefully if you choose to continue, and be safe. <3

Enjoy!
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Everything burned.

It felt as though someone had set fire to my entire body.

But no one had even touched me, not since he had dragged me out into this downpour.

I used to love the rain, if I am being honest. It was a comfort to me. But now, all it does is hurt me. I always forgive the rain, it doesn't know what it's doing. It can't help itself. 

But I can never forgive him.

I was his daughter, someone he used to fight so hard to protect. Why did that ever change? Why did he give up on me, and so many others? It's not our fault that they ruined him. They ruined us. 

It wasn't my fault.

I never wanted this. 

I never wanted to die.

I never wanted to be trapped, barely with a voice. No way to tell my story.

I struggled to my feet, pushing through the pain. I staggered to the temple. He'd told me to never return, but where else could I go? Perhaps if I could find Willow again..

I really need to get that thought out of my head. 

There's a high chance that her and Georgie didn't make it out alive, anyway. 

I decided to head to Kona's home, anyway. On that slim chance that they are somehow still alive. Perhaps, they'll be more welcoming.

I climbed the stairs, shaking by the time I reached the top. My strength was running out again. But, I pushed on. I was more determined than anything else that I felt. I paused before the door.

I could hear their voices, specifically Georgie's. I would've screamed for him if I could, but I knew I couldn't. So, I opened the door, and closed it after I went through with great care. As I rounded the corner, the chatter of the room stopped. Georgie did a double take, before his eyes went wide, "Spidella..." He breathed, getting up from where he had been sitting with a young zebra, and walking over to me.

He stared at the burns along my body, sheer terror in his eyes, "Who did this to you..?" He asked, a pleading look in his eyes. I couldn't move to sign anymore, so I managed to get out, "Dad.." Before my throat was overcome with agony.

Georgie briefly seemed startled by my ruins of a voice, but he nodded, "I don't...I don't think there's much we can do for a ghost.." He said, his colorful gaze narrowing, he then raised his gaze to lock with mine, "We're going to fix this, I promise. We'll find a way to make everything okay again," He said, his gaze hardening with determination, "I promise." He then added. I felt a smile slowly creep onto my lips, I trusted him.

I looked around for Willow, my smile slowly fading as I didn't see her, "Willow?" I croaked, limping around briefly. I turned around to face Georgie. He stared back at me, those colorful eyes of his dullened as he realized who I was looking for, "She's gone, Spidella.." He said softly, I froze up.

This was my fault, wasn't it?

I took them to his kingdom, knowing the dangers.

It's my fault.

It's all my fault.

I killed her.

I blanked for a moment as these thoughts swirled around my head, and when I came back, I realized I had rumpled to the floor. Georgie was crouching by me, his voice was muffled, blocked out by my brain screaming at me. Taunting me.

I killed Willow.

Those very words slipped out of my mouth before I could even stop them, I knew because of the exploding pain that radiated through my throat as soon as they left me. Georgie's expression changed to that of shock, "What- No, you didn't!" He yelped, before I could stop myself I yelled, "If I hadn't taken you two to that stupid throne room, she'd still be alive! I killed her, not Lego, I DID-" I was cut of as I began coughing, agony washing over me in waves. Georgie went to carefully pat my back to help me, but his hand went right through me.

Why didn't dad's? 

I got off the ground, seeing stars as I grew lightheaded. But, regardless, I stumbled outside without another word. Georgie yelled after me, but I didn't listen to him. 

I made that interaction odd, didn't I?

It was sleeting. It landed on my face, and it burned. But I didn't move. I just let it do its thing. More-so because I couldn't move. I was frozen in shock. My gaze had landed on a seemingly fresh grave, and as I finally managed to walk over to it, I discovered the stone that had been oh-so-carefully carved. "WILLOW", it read.

I crumpled into the snow, I hardly knew her at all, but part of me was grieving as if I'd known her my whole life, and that grief was rapidly spreading throughout me. I also knew somewhere in me that I had no right to grieve.

I killed her. I don't deserve to grieve. 

The thought spun in my head. I don't know if it's true anymore. Regardless of what my mind spat at me, I still continued to cry. Apparently, my mind doesn't care enough to get me to stop crying. 

After a while, my crying ceased to shuddering breaths. I held my head in my hands, just sitting there. I didn't have the energy to get up.

I heard the snow crunch, and lifted my head. A young zebra dressed in light pink stood a little ways away from me. She looked down at me, her expression didn't show anything in particular. After a few moments of her just standing there, she came and settled in the snow next to me. She brushed the snow away from me when she noticed the burns beginning to grow on my body from it.

She then placed her hand on mine after drying it off, I was abruptly startled by it not going through. This was all so confusing...How come her and my father's hands didn't go through me, yet everyone else's did? When I wordlessly questioned her actions via my expression, she pointed to her throat, then drew a zipper across her mouth. I understood, she couldn't speak, either.

So, we just sat there. Processing. It seemed as if she understood without me saying a word. How much of my crying had she heard? She didn't acknowledge it if she heard any of it. Part of me hoped she didn't, the concept of anyone hearing me crying my eyes out made me feel a bit embarrassed. I was hesitant to even ask, but I eventually caved and croaked it out, "Um...Did you...Hear anything?"

She looked up at me, pausing for a moment, before slowly nodding. She made a gesture that I could only assume meant 'All of it'. I briefly blanked, but she quickly brought me back, ensuring I was okay. She was a kid. She wasn't supposed to be dealing with this, yet here she was.

Why? 

I literally killed one of her friends.

Why does she still trust me?