Half Past Five.

Chapter Nineteen: Confessions And Apologies.

“I need to talk to you.” Elijah places her lunch tray on the table, Nancy staring up at her, bewildered at the sudden movement and aggression Elijah brought to the table.

“Before you say anything, let me talk. Leah, I am so so so sorry for outing you to Steve, that was not my intention. But he forced me to tell him, he was in such a state that he threatened to break up with me if I didn't tell him. I'm so sorry for throwing you under the bus.”

Elijah sighs, sitting down next to her friend. “I understand, Nance. Steve can get... Determined, to say the least. Especially when he feels threatened. I don't blame you, and I'm not mad at you, but thank you for your apology, I appreciate it.” She rests her head on Nancy's shoulder, the girl merely smiling, feeling better about the situation.

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” Nancy asks, a soft sigh coming from Elijah.

“No, it's not.” She takes a deep breath, trying to control her emotions. She lifts her head from Nancy's shoulder, staring her friend deep in her eyes. “You were right, by the way.”

“About what, Leah?”

“About me. About Billy. About the situation. You were right.” She feels a sudden sting in her tear bags, the harsh prickling almost causing a cascade of water.

“What do you mean? Did you guys fight again? Should I kick his ass?” Elijah laughs at this, feeling a few soft tears rolling down her face. “What's going on, Leah?”

“I'm so in love with this boy that it physically hurts me. When I look at him, I can feel every cell in my body expand and explode, I feel every inch of me disintegrating beneath his gaze. It physically hurts, to be in love with him. Loving Billy Hargrove is fucking painful.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing happened—”

“What happened, Leah?” She sighs, knowing Nancy's persistence and ability to spot a problem from a mile away. So she confesses.

“There's nothing specific that happened, really. It's just, I've always had a hard time concealing my emotions. If I felt something, I would talk about it. If I didn't agree with something, I'd call you out on it. If I was in love with you, I'd confess—”

“And you can't confess to Billy?”

“No, no I cannot. Billy—he's fragile. And I'd rather have Billy as a friend who doesn't know the truth, than have Billy who knows and rejects me. Because once that's out, once he knows I have feelings for him, that he doesn't return, that's when things change. And I can't have things changing again.”

“God, Leah. You've got it bad for him, huh?”

“You have no idea, Nance.” She rests her head against Nancy's shoulder again, her friend comforting her and holding her close.

“But who said he doesn't feel the same?” Nancy asks.

“If he feels the same, he should tell me.”

“Leah.” Nancy laughs softly, unable to believe her friend's stupidity. “You can't expect of him to admit his feelings, when you can't admit them either. Chances are that Billy's just as afraid of confessing to the truth as you are. Cut him some slack.”

“I suppose.” Elijah takes a breather, contemplating her next line. “We almost had sex though, if that counts for something.”

“Excuse me, what?” Nancy darts up, Elijah almost flying off her shoulder as her friend sits up. “What do you mean almost?” Elijah smiles at the memory fragment, the flirting and teasing coming to a point where it almost resulted in being something more.