Heartless. (Soukoku)

Chapter 7: Apologies

Dazai's POV:

I'm still processing what happened. I knew that Chuuya hated me deep down but I never wanted to actually believe it. He has every right to despise me and yet it still hurts me. I should just let go. 

But I don't want to.

I want him to be a part of my life. 

Chuuya had locked himself inside my room. I was still standing outside the door even though fifteen minutes had already passed. I want him to let me in, to trust me again. But how can I do that after all that I've done? Damn it. 

I slowly knocked on the door.

"Open the door, Chuuya.." 

Nothing.

"..Please."

Still no answer. 

"Chuuya, open the door." I was starting to get worried

Silence.

"Chuuya!"

Finally I was answered but it wasn't with what I had expected. All I heard from in the room was a loud 'THUMP' and then more silence.

"Chuuya!?"

"Chuuya, let me in!" I almost screamed. I rattled the door handle trying to get it open. I began banging on the door but to no avail. No one let me in. No one opened the door. No one gave me an answer. 

As a last resort I slammed my body multiple times against the door at last breaking it off its hinges. I fell to the floor. 

I looked around the room. There. Right there was Chuuya. But he wasn't giving me his usual glare. He wasn't looking at me at all. He was just lying there. On the floor. Wide eyes. No expression. Blood surrounding his body. I quickly scrambled up on my feet and rushed over by his side, my coat getting drenched in his blood. 

"Chuuya!?"

"CHUUYA!" 

I screamed at him desperately trying to get some sort of answer or reaction out of him. But he was just lying there. I could feel the tears prickling at my eyes. I scooped him up in my arms and ran to the bathroom. I placed him up against the wall. I put my fingers on the side of his neck. There was still a pulse.

I then put my hand flat on his chest. I could feel his heartbeat. It was racing. I looked at him. His eyes still wide, no blinking what so ever. He was just staring into oblivion. I turned his face in between my hands trying to find some sort of cause. 

While I was looking I could see a red outline slowly starting to take shape around his body. Oh no. I looked at his eyes again, luckily they were still blue. I tried to shake him awake.