FADED -Bleach FF

Chapter 5

I don't know what to say or to do and the whole world seems to get slower by the second, even Byakuya. My headache is gone and Hichigo shouts something what I don't hear. Merge with me king, Hichigo's voice is now clear. I have no time so I just nod. In my whole life I've just merged once with my inner hollow soul, and that was under the control of the Vizards as I wasn't friends with Hichigo and as we were enemies. Now he cares as much about me as I care about him so our merging will look quite differently.

Because I am not in my Soul Reaper form I can't take out Zangetsu to fight so I have to rely on Hichigo and leave the control to him firstly until I am able to control our merging. He understands it. As we begin to merge I can feel how my hair grows and grows, how a mask takes my face over and how my whole body gets a hollow cover. That happens within seconds before Byakuya can even draw his sword at me and as he does it doesn't hurt. After that I can't remember anything but I know that Hichigo won against the three of them without any problems.

–

"Oh my freaking god," a loud voice says and I get conscious. As I weak up and see the building which once was my school I have to puke. This isn't normal, I know that I have a lot of power and spiritual energy but I couldn't ever have done that by myself. The whole school doesn't even exist anymore, not even one ruin or something like that. Plus the whole thing burns and there is a hole in the middle of the street almost more than a half mile deep and almost one mile big. That's just ridiculous. How am I supposed to do that?!

As I turn around I see Grimmjow and Ulquiorra staring at the destroyed thing in front of us as well as the deep hole. In front of me I can see a destroyed Zonpakuto – from the look of it it's Rukia's. I stand up but my whole body is shaking. Hichigo doesn't say a thing but maybe that's because he has used too much power and needs some sleep. When I use my mask he often feels tired. I search for...I don't know for what. For Rukia, Byakuya and Renji so I can tell myself they're still alive and I haven't killed them.

Soon I find another Zonpakuto – this time it's Byakuya's and less than a foot lays Byakuya. Well...one of his arms. Right next to it lays his body; in the middle of his stomach is a big hole, almost as big as it could tear his upper and under body apart. I can't take it and can't help myself but puking another time right next to him. This forces me to my knees. My whole stomach is empty but I'm feeling so damn bad and I know that I have to puke more, at least when I find the others. As I stand up and want to go further, a big hand holds me back at my wrist. I turn around and look Ulquiorra in the eyes. His hand is surprisingly warm. He and Grimmjow haven't gigais anymore so Grimmjow looks like always with his little skull part and his clothes. Ulquiorra looks better. He has two green strings under his eyes what may make him a bit scarier but not really for me. His white robe covers almost his whole body so I can't see his hollow hole at the moment – or his Espada number. But right now I cannot battle him or Grimmjow at all.

"Don't do it," he says with a soft voice and I don't know why but I listen to him and sit back down on the ground; right next to Byakuya's corpse. I don't want to puke another time but I can't help it as I look into Byakuya's colorless eyes. He looks pretty scary when he's dead.

King? So Hichigo woke up. Is everything alright? Did I overdo it? Sorry, I kinda lost control over our power as well, in that state we're too strong for the world to handle, I even hold back more than half of our power. I nod. I believe him. He wouldn't lie to me and I can still feel the unbelievable spiritual pressure here. That's...too much.

"You're capable of that and you have lost to me?" Grimmjow stuns and comes to Ulquiorra and I. I'm sitting in front of my puke and just now I realized that Ulquiorra sits next to me – still holding my hand. I don't know what to do but I definitely know that holding hands with an Espada is pretty below the Soul Reaper rules; but the head captain Yamamoto ordered my death so that means pretty much that I am not a part of the Soul Society anymore so I don't give a fuck about the rules anymore. But still...it feels really strange so I want to take my hand back but Ulquiorra doesn't let me. Instead, he holds my hand even stronger so I cannot pull it back a second time.

Grimmjow sees it and grins: "Ok, so I wanna know what happened here and why." Ulquiorra looked at me with an interested face, so I guess I have no choice. But why do I feel like I have no choice? Maybe you have a crush on him, king. I mean you stared today at him and think he's good looking, Hichigo says. No. I do not have a crush on an Espada. Under no circumstances. Never ever!

Not that I hate having a relationship with the right guy even if he is a hollow but I just don't think it's good having a crush on a total stranger and Espada as well.

"Could you tell us, please?" Ulquiorra requests and now I really am not able to resist his beautiful eyes (he makes puppy eyes with them). So it's decided it's a crush king, Hichigo says and sounds pretty proud. If he's proud of himself or of me I can't tell. "Pretty much they kicked me out of Soul Society and Yamamoto ordered to kill me – then I fought the guys he sent."

Grimmjow looks pretty impressed. He puts his one arm on his hip and looks around. "Impressive", he confirms. Ulquiorra on the other hand doesn't look impressed or anything like that – no, he looks angry as hell; like he would kill anyone who came near him. Even Grimmjow takes a step back but so that it isn't obvious.

"Calm down Ulquiorra," Grimmjow says and sound now annoyed; like it's not the first time he's telling Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra doesn't listen. He stands up and since he still holds my hand he puts me up either. I'm feeling pretty sick and could puke any minute now but no one seems to care. Sad.

"I'm not gonna calm down!" Ulquiorra says and I can't help but get a goose flesh. I like his voice for real really much. "They wanted to kill my mate!" Okay, who wanted to kill this man's mate?! I mean, this would be really dumb because I bet he'll revenge her or him. I feel a bit jealous of the person who's his mate; I mean Ulquiorra seems like a good guy.

"I am taking him with me to Hueco Mundo!" Ulquiorra decides suddenly and at this very moment I understand that he means me with his mate. Now I don't feel jealous anymore, only angry. I hate being a mate of someone. And why the heck of an Espada! I get really angry and Hichigo tries to call me down. I am still pretty exhausted because of our loss of control – again. I couldn't fight right now. But I don't wanna be his mate, no matter how I feel about his look, his voice or anything else. I don't wanna be bound on anyone. And Ulquiorra is a guy I don't even know. And plus...what does a mate means?

King! Do you really just complained about a thing you didn't even know? Hichigo asks pretty surprised – but in the bad direction of course. I nod. Neither Grimmjow nor Ulquiorra notice because they're in their own discussion.

Can you explain, I ask of Hichigo and he agrees: A mate is pretty much just a partner for life for a hollow, well at least that's all that I now know. Earlier, when hollows couldn't find their real mates they just stole someone else's. That's a pretty important theme for hollows – as for you too. If this Ulquiorra is right and you're really his mate – if he's really our mate – you'll notice it soon. Well, maybe he's just lying. I don't know. Does it make a difference? Okay, I confess, I kinda like his look and his voice, but if he's really my mate I would feel more – wouldn't I? So he isn't. That's so.

And I will surely not go to Hueco Mundo; I am much but not insane.

I think I we can merge a second time – if you wish so king, Hichigo proposes but even I know how risky it is. If we merge I just know that something really bad will happen so we won't. While I think Ulquiorra turns around to me with a happy expression on his face. This is the very moment when I understand that they've already decided. Grimmjow just opens a Gaganta to Hueco Mundo. And I still haven't come up with a good plan. What should I do? Damn it!!!! Damn it!!! Damn it!!!! Oh fuck it!

Fast and with all my strength left I pull my hand back and Ulquiorra loses his stand. He lands on the destroyed earth but he still has his grip around my wrist. I try to run and pull him with me if there's no other way around because I surely won't go to the world of the hollows. But before I can try something else, Ulquiorra says: "Sorry, but I have to take you somewhere safe." before knocking me out.