Forty-Six: Memories

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I screamed, with my whole chest. I had to let the pain out. How could it have happened? How could Rengoku be dead? 

*(Y/N) POV*

Giyuu took my hand and guided me into the estate. No sounds were audible from me, but the tears still streamed down my face. 

I took a seat at the table while Giyuu went to make breakfast. My mind raced back to when I first met Rengoku.

"Hey! You! Who are you?" I heard the same voice as the Flame Breather and turned around.

"(L/N) (F/N), Kinoe rank, sir." I bowed towards my superior.

"I'm Rengoku. You just killed a lower moon. You're strong." I smiled thankfully at the hashira and responded, "Thank you Rengoku-san." 

To when we were told he would be training me. 

"I would like for you to train under Rengoku-san, master your breathing technique here. He is our Flame Hashira and has great strength, as you have seen." Oyakata-sama spoke to both of us.

Rengoku-san spoke up, "I will gladly help (L/N) to create her breathing technique. She did display the strength of a hashira after all. Perhaps if she masters this style, she may be promoted."

He was the first one to truly believe in me becoming a hashira. He was the one who helped me in discovering my Blood Breathing. I let out a sniffle and thought back to how he was there for me. There for me when Giyuu wasn't. 

I gasped, shooting into a sitting up position. I felt someone pull me into their chest, "Hey. It's okay. I'm right here."

How the hell did that happen? Why did that happen? I haven't thought about that demon in so long. Why now?

Rengoku pulled away, keeping his hands on my shoulders, "I could hear you yelling from my room, what do you need?" 

I would never see him again. We would never have any training sessions, lunch with Mitsuri and Obanai, or just time to spend together between missions. 

I was brought out of my thoughts by Giyuu placing a cup in front of me, "Drink this." I nodded my head. 

This tea was different than the one I would make, the one Rengoku would make. But why? "Giyuu, what is in the tea you and Urokodaki-san make for me?"

I watched him tense for a moment before relaxing. Without turning around he answered me, "Wisteria flowers. It's a simple black tea with wisteria flowers." 

Of course. They always knew. That's why I have them in my haori. I looked back towards my tea and took another sip. 

Giyuu walked over, handing me a plate of food. I tried my best to eat it, but I couldn't. I had lost my appetite. 

This is like losing Giyuu all over again, but this time Rengoku will never be back. I lost my best friend, my family. Again. 

This is how Giyuu must've felt with Sabito. I was in pain when Sabito died, but I wasn't as close with him as Giyuu was. 

"(Y/N), I... I know it's hard. Believe me. But you have to push through this. That's the only way to make it out of your next mission alive. You can't give up hope," Giyuu spoke. I sighed, continuing to play with my food. 

I understood what he meant. I had hope pushing me through every mission prior. Hoping to find Giyuu, hoping to make it back to everyone alive. But if Rengoku couldn't survive, how could I. I'm not as strong as he was. 

Giyuu interrupted my thoughts again, "Remember when we both got a month off for recovery?" I looked at him confused, but nodded my head. Of course I remember. 

I push the door open and see Urokodaki-san sitting at the table with a bandaged-up Giyuu.

I run up to him, hiding my own pain, "What happened, are you okay?!" I look at his hand and arm gently. He gave me a small smile, "Yea, just didn't move fast enough." I gave him a hug and went to walk to my room. He grabbed my hand and I winced in pain facing away from him, "Wait, (F/N), aren't you hungry?"

I smiled at him, "I'll be right back, just want to get cleaned up." He nodded back.

"You should wrap that up before it gets worse." Urokodaki-san said in a monotone voice. I stared at him, "Um, I mean, yea I was going to." Giyuu stood up from the table walking over to me, "What happened?!"

"I told you I didn't move fast enough," Giyuu spoke. I nodded my head, "I know. It happens." He shook his head, "No, because that's not what happened (Y/N). On that mission, I felt like you do right now. I remembered everything from my sister dying to Sabito. I didn't care anymore. I chose to not move fast enough. I chose to not move at all." 

My eyes were wide open, surprised at the words coming out of his mouth. "What do you mean Giyuu? You promised to always try and come home alive." 

He sighed, "Exactly. After I made that choice, I remembered who I still have in my life. I remembered why I chose to become a Demon Slayer and why I needed to make it back home."  

My lips trembled at the thought of Giyuu just giving up. Standing there in front of a demon and not fighting back. 

"(Y/N), I moved again for you. I needed to make it home to you. So please, no matter how you feel," he grabbed my hand, "promise you'll always fight to come home for me. Not just for me, but Mitsuri, Obanai, Tanjiro, Nezuko, and everyone else that cares about you. Please." 

I looked in his eyes and saw the same look I had seen when I saw him for the first time again. A look of hope, desperation, and love. I hadn't noticed it that day, but I notice it now. 

I squeezed his hand, "I promise Giyuu. I will always fight to come back home to you." 

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Hi! Sorry it's a shorter chapter, but figured we needed some connecting in there with the Rengoku situation. 

RIP

xx

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