would you still love me? | atsuhina

5

Atsumu Miya

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Breakfast went well. We went for a walk in the park afterward and admired all the dogs running around and watched a cat birth kittens beneath the canopy of a large oak tree.

The owner came frantically afterward with his sobbing toddler in his arms. Turns out, they had a loose panel in the fence of their backyard and the cat had wandered off.

Shouyou looked so relieved when he realized the cat and her kittens would have a good home.

Anyway, we did end up at 'Samu's for lunch, and the fact he and Shouyou got along like peanut butter and jelly made me kinda... annoyed.

I'm rushing the details of our day 'cause that's just how fast it flew by. I meant to leave after lunch, but everything seemed to be happening so fast that I offered to visit one more place before we parted ways.

The beach.

And, boy, let me tell ya, Shouyou's only ever looked this beautiful basked in the sunrise, and, now, the sunset.

That smile, too, I just can't seem to look away from it.

Which actually proved to be fruitful, in the end, because he locked eyes with me and flushed red, and I knew, then, that I had done what I set out to do. I had made him fall in love with me. From here, he can only fall deeper, or so I thought.

So, why is it that I feel so... "bad?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothin', haha! I had fun today, Shou-Kun! We gotta do this again sometime!"

Shouyou's fingers rubbed against each other. Picked and pulled and, finally, settled on the back of his neck and onto his hip.

"Well... It's pretty late, and we've been running around a lot, so, uh... You can stay at my house again? Just for the night... please?"

"'Course! If yer okay with me invadin' yer space!"

"Haha, why wouldn't I be?"

Feelings I wasn't familiar with spun my stomach in circles, and, as if I was trying to extinguish my inflamed heart, I smothered Shouyou's fluffy hair, forcing a grin upon my lips because it seemed like the right thing to do.

"Let's go then, ya lil squirt!"

-----

"Atsu-San~"

I can't do this.

"Aren't the flowers pretty today?"

No, I don't wanna do this. What the hell am I doin'?

"Hey..."

Stop temptin' me.

"Atsu-San..?"

I can't love you. If I mess up and you leave...

"Atsu-San..."

I don't want to be hurt.

"Atsu-San!"

Please, don't make me love ya. I don't wanna feel that weak.

"Wake up!"

A sharp gasp escaped my lips. When I opened my eyes, I realized I had already sat up in bed, the blanket clutched tightly in my hand.

I glanced to the left, to the right, and was welcomed by the sight of a concerned Shouyou illuminated by the dull yellow light of the lamp.

Because this wasn't his room in this giant house, this was a guest room. He said he wanted me to be comfortable or something along those lines, which is why we switched rooms.

His nightshirt had slipped down his arm, revealing his delectable nape to me. His firm, yet comforting hand gripped my shoulder, the sight, the touch alone set my body on fire.

"Are you okay? Wait here a bit, I'll go get you a glass of-!"

But now that I've felt a touch so warm and have gazed into eyes made of kindness, I can't just let him go. He can be my friend, the friend I have to wed in the near future, but a friend, nonetheless.

And, you know, I never realized how scared I was of falling in love and how scary love is to fall into. I never realized... it would be so hard not to fall in love. Shouyou definitely doesn't make it fucking easy to avoid.

I pulled Shouyou into me. The strength I used was too much, but I just felt as if I was numbingly cold without his warmth.

He was nearly laying down, his knees hardly keeping him on the bed. My arms held his stomach and his chest to mine. It was an uncomfortable position for me. I'd hold him here forever, though.

"Sorry, 'm so sorry."

Shouyou hummed against my neck, and soon, a hand threaded into the back of my hair. My heart soared, and I wish it hadn't. I wish he didn't make me so excited.

"It's okay. Nightmares are just a part of being human, after all."

I'm sorry because I'm using you to strengthen the mafia and my position as future boss, and you're so kind and oblivious to everything that it physically hurts.

You're too pure, too damaged to be wrung of your kindness like this.

-----

Come morning, I decided it was finally time to run home. I was low on clothes and had some duties that needed tending to.

Shouyou followed me to the door like a puppy watching its owner go to work. I briefly heard the maids cooing as we passed.

"Can I see you again?" He questioned with sullen eyes. I smile at him reassuringly and ruffled up that vibrant-colored hair of his.

"'Course! Ya ain't gettin' rid of me that easily! I had fun hangin' out with ya! Next time, why don'tcha come on over to my house?"

He beamed so brightly at me it put the sun to shame.

"Okay! When's next time? Do you have a job you need to get to?"

"Meh, not really. I got other ways of income, so I'm pretty free other than a bit of paperwork now and then! Just call me when you're free!"

I could see his cheeks burst in a shimmering pink and, in his sudden burst of excitement, he jumped on me.

Stop it, stupid heart.

"I'll wait for you, then! And we can hang out again!"

I was careful placing him back onto the ground when I saw a figure behind him, leaning against the wall. It's Mr. Hinata. He was smiling, and I couldn't help but realize he and Shouyou had a similar smile.

"Ya got it, Shou-Kun! I'll see ya soon!"

"See you soon, Atsu-San!"

I did need to have a word with Mr. Hinata, so I shot him a quick text, got in the waiting car, and shut the door.

We'd meet up at the second house.

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