Behind her eyes

chapter 13

_Leyla_

Isn't she a better partner? the words that crush me today. Is like bad things keep happening to me constantly since I step into this world. Hayal is calling me but I'm not going to pick it.

"Leyla pick up my calls!"
"What do you want?"

"Why did you left early? I'm at your house and you're not home yet. Your mom will be worried!"

" Why did you go there then? She won't be worried if you didn't go there. I'm not coming back home now so better leave. If you're worried about then don't be. I'm okay just going for a walk". I text then shutdown the phone.

I pass by the school my brother attend. I remember his smile, the cutest smile ever. I do miss Kabir. I miss him.

So many things going in my head. None of those things are good. Not a single one.

I walk in and mom said she was worried.
"I did assignment with a friend "

"But why didn't you tell hayal?"

"Because she has a different partner. She has a better person to work with"

"Leyla are you okay?". She ask and I start crying. I tried to hide my pain but I couldn't.

"Why me mom why me?"
"What's going on my baby?" She hugged me so tight. That is what I need the most, that hug.

"Everyone is always above me. Everyone always get what they want. Everyone is happy but not me. She always take everything from me"

"Who are you talking about? Is not like that my dear. Everyone's destiny is different." She keep tapping on my back trying to calm me down.

She said everyone has their destiny. What if I write my own destiny?. I don't want a destiny where Ahmad is not in my life. I will write my own story. I will do it.

***

I kept ignoring Hayal as much as I can. She ask but I keep telling her I'm busy. I watch her get close to him. They work together like I don't exist.

"I'm so sorry hayal. I have to do this. You force me, I'm sorry"

I don't want to humiliate her. She doesn't deserve it but I have to do everything to keep her away from Ahmad.

We have a maths test soon and Hayal hate maths the most. I watch every single step of our math teacher. I watch him leave his office and I sneak in immediately.

"Where the hell are those questions papers? Where are they!?"

I kept searching until I see them. I take few copies and I sneak them in my bag. I put the rest in a different place so when he come in, he will realize part of the papers has been stolen.

I make sure nobody is in class and I put them in Hayal's bag.

Just as expected the teachers come to our class.

"Everyone should move to the front. Leave your bags on your desks"

I know what is about to go down. I started smiling even though I'm feeling bad. I caught Melissa look at me and I look away. I hate that girl, her eyes has been all over me since her incident.

"Whose bag is this?"

"It's mine" hayal said.

"Everyone go back and sit down. You come with us."

"What's going on?" I ask.

"She stole the question papers. She will be punish"

"I didn't do anything!" Hayal said and start crying. Maybe Ahmad will stay away from her if she appear as a thief in his presence.

"You commit a crime and you're lying? You know this can get you expel from this school right?"

I suddenly felt bad. I even start crying. I don't want her expel from this school. I can't leave without her. I just want her to stay away from him.

"Sir I did it" Ahmad raise his hand.

What is going on here?

"What do you mean you did it?"

"We had a big fight today and I wanted to teach her a big lesson. But now I feel so bad. She don't deserve to be humiliated. I am so ashame of myself" he said.

Ahmad defend her. They call both of them to the office. Instead of drifting apart they get closer.

****

She get away with everything! She get away with this too. I hate everything. She get away with this. I don't want her out this school but I want her to feel bad. I want her to experience a bit for the pain I'm feeling. She is taking him away from me.

I throw away everything from my dresser. I shout and cry. I want this stupid pain to end. I don't want everything to be like this. I'm scared to hurt hayal. I love Hayal, I love Ahmad. I can do anything for Ahmad.

After my dad died my mom re-married. She gave birth to Kabir but my step dad pass away too. All her attention goes back to Kabir. Like I don't exist anymore. Like she loves him better than me. I couldn't stand that. I want her to love me too. I thought she will leave me.

I don't want to hurt hayal, I can't hurt her. Just like I did to Kabir. I could have save him, but I watch him die instead. I thought maybe mom will love me more if he is not here anymore.

He had an asthma attack. I could have help  but I simply didn't. I didn't caused the attack but I didn't help. I watch him die. I watch him gasp his last breath.

***

That was a shocking confession!🤯

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