Made for Two

29

Lisa's POV

"Lisa! Continue your training now! you are so close in finishing it! Why are you so stubborn?!" My father shouted at me. We are now having an argument in his office

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to?!" I spit back

"And how many times do I have to tell you that you need to?! You know very well that you are my only child, who else do you expect me to train?!"

"I don't know, get someone. I said I don't want to and it's final!" Are the last words I said before making my way out of his office

There's no way in hell I'm gonna be there again. I won't get involved again. It's the only way. The only way for the other people around me to be safe

The only way so that I will not lose anyone dear to me again

It's---it's just so..... heartbreaking

And I don't wanna get through it again

How I wish Somi is here. She knows very well how to make me feel better

But she was the very reason why I'm feeling like this right now

I.... I just miss her

It's just the third month since she was gone. My father just gave me time to mourn and now he's bugging me to train again. I can't believe he'll force me to be there again when he knows exactly what I've gone through

I can't believe I was so naive to think that I can do anything, that I can beat anyone, that I can save everyone when I can't even save the very person I love

Ahhh it's getting to me again. I hate this feeling

It hurts so much in my chest, I feel like vomiting

I didn't even comprehend it at first, it didn't sink in that I'm hurting this much

Oh god it hurts so much

Will this pain ever stop? Will I be able to get over it? Until when will I feel like this?

Every single damn time that I am reminded of Somi or the MNSI, I feel like this and I kid you not, its fucking every single day

I was confident before that I'm strong, not just physically but also emotionally. But wtf is this? I feel so weak. I've been crying so much that the way I am now, I don't even know if there's still tears left to cry

The incident that happened proved me wrong about everything that I believed about myself

It shattered me

Will I be able to pick up the pieces again?

I made my way to the bar again. It has been my place so far

I was just sitting alone in front of the bartender

Gosh, if I ain't a sad girl I don't know what is

To be honest, my friends never made me feel that I'm alone

Jisoo and Seulgi has been letting me know that they are always there for me

I just...... I don't know, I do feel alone but, yeah, I wanna be alone

I can't even explain it

When I am alone, I crave for company but when I have company, I want to be alone

Besides, Jisoo and Seulgi have their lives too. They don't have to always keep up with me and my sad antics that I don't even know until when