Only MINE !!!!!!

CHAPTER 19

Shivaay arrived home engrossed in a phone call. As he disconnected the call, he smiled at Anika who was playing with the kids in her room. She was all better now and was back to her usual self . He had thought that they have become close friends earlier ,  even Anika had seconded that thought on more than one occasion, but these four days erased so many invisible lines that they didn't even realize existed between them, such as the unsaid rule of no touching. Occasional arm draping over shoulders or brushing of hands were not frowned upon or much deliberated at by either parties nowadays . Their comfort level had increased by leaps and bounds . He was never good with deciphering feelings , but even he could sense the change in the air around them .

He half heartedly looked at his phone, recalling the conversation he just had with a family lawyer ,  then looked up again at Anika . 

'Should I do this ?' he thought . 

Things were progressing nicely between them and he did not want to use his shrewdness for once in his life, in this one matter. He wanted to be accepted for himself, wanted to be loved for what he is, without strings attached . 

'Is it too much to expect?' he asked himself . 

Maybe this once he could let go of his all encompassing urge to control everything in his life. Maybe life will surprise him pleasantly this time. But the stakes are VERY VERY HIGH. He could not afford to loose her, and a decision has to be made at the earliest . 

SHIVAAY (self thought) :  'You should stick to what you know the best . Something you know will yield results you want ' his mind cautioned .

What if she does not think about him in THAT light ? What if she has other ideas about her life ?... ARGGHH ... Of all the female population available , he had to go and fall in love with the one girl who just keeps everything inside her, not giving one single clue as to what was going inside her head. Had this emotion called LOVE not come knocking on his door, he would have gladly made a decision for her, and would have pressed her to follow it to the end as well. But somewhere in their journey together, Anika's feelings, her acceptance of his feelings have become important for him. And truthfully speaking, he did NOT like that. Life was so easy before. He knew who he loved and who all loved him in his small personal world . And he was sort of happy with that

 before Anika came and rippled it all , well sort of . The shades of grey she brought in his black and white life confounded him. Everything looks messed up. She has become the center of his existence , but has no freaking clue about it . They were a family and yet he can not make that claim on her . Her feelings for himself were still a big question mark . All these unknowns always put him on the defensive side regarding 'them'. And his deeply ingrained insecurities of past were not helping the matter at all, no matter how hard he tries to reason things out in his mind.

His chain of thoughts was broken with loud shrill of Anika's phone ringing. It was Daksh on the line. From what he could make out by listening to Anika's side of conversation,  it looked like he was in constant touch with her, knew of her ill-health and was trying to cut short his trip for her, much to Anika's astonishment .

ANIKA : 'Its okay Daksh , I am perfectly fine now' 

 she assured him .

ANIKA : 'No, there is no need, seriously. You should finish your work and then come' 

 she again said .

ANIKA : 'Why would you think so ? I am not at all alone . Shivaay took very good care of me'