The Truth of Ace

One

Madeline Love

I didn't want to move, because once I left the observatory. That made everything real, that when I went home he wouldn't be on the couch or in the study. I wouldn't be in his arms tonight as we drifted to sleep.

I'd simply be alone, not that I wasn't used to it. But now I've been left with a hole that I am unable to fill. He was really gone, he left me. I wish I knew, I wish I knew that last night as he wrapped his hands around me reminding me how much he truly love me before we fell to sleep, would be our last time for who knows how long. That this morning would be the last one we spent together. I couldn't see him, talk to him, touch him, no letters or phone calls.

The worst past of it all was not knowing how long. I could be waiting five months or three years for him. I knew he didn't tell me the full thing, I don't think he wants me to know the full truth of extent.

I've had my suspicions, once in awhile I'd hear one of his phone calls. I wasn't clueless that he might be a part of something dangerous in Italy. The big move that we were meant to make but never did. He was stalling, he was trying to find a way to get me there to but failed.

Now I'm standing in the linen dress he bought me and my feet hurt more than they should. My heart feels ripped open and it felt almost too painful to cry at this point.

Then I heard it, noise for the first time in twenty seven minutes of him being gone. I was no longer left in silence as I heard the noise of the elevator. A strike of hope fills me, he's back I tell myself.

But as the glass elevator comes to view, I am only left with Gwenyth staring at me. I probably looked half dead on the inside, because that's how I felt. The doors opened and she stepped out staring at me "Oh deary" this time her eyes too filled with water.

She collected me in her arms within an instant, but I felt numb. In a way I lost the love of my life for some time, without a true explanation "I'm here for you, it'll be okay" I couldn't do this, I didn't want to.

But I had no other options. So I just broke down into her arms again "why did he leave" her hand soothed my back as she supported me.

I didn't want to see anyone in the world. I just got engaged to the man I love, it was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Instead it was the saddest, after all the pain I suffered this seemed to be the winner "I can't-" I gasped for air as I felt it only leaving my lungs.

"Breath Lila, just breath" she sat me to the ground as I curled into the fetal position. I couldn't face the reality of it all. He left, he really left me. As I pinched my arm til it bled, the reality sank in that this nightmare was no bad dream.

She sat beside me, I felt a hair brush comb through my hair as it was let loose. I didn't move, nor flinch "I brushed my daughters hair in time of need" she rubbed my back "he'll be back deary, it'll just be some time. He always keeps his promises, he loves you" words didn't exist anymore. I couldn't quite speak.

"Let's get you home" home, a word that felt so weird to think of without him. She lifted me up, my legs moved for me as I couldn't think properly "it's going to be okay, I'm going to take care of you"

————————————-

Entering the apartment was weird. Knowing that he wouldn't be here for months or years just left a pit in my stomach. Maybe I should just picture him at the house upstate, he's there right now working on something and he'll be home late tonight.