Finding The 4077th

It's Okay To Cry

It was the middle of the night, outside it was raining softly and most people in the Swamp were asleep, all except for Frank who was on duty, and the little boy sitting on the floor leaning against his cot. He was dressed in red pajama pants and a white shirt with red stars on it. His hair was sticking up in all sorts of directions and he looked exhausted.

The blue and red hue from the little rocket night light shining over the cross-legged sitting boy with his pillow in his lap and Wally next to him, in his hand he held the small wooden box, which contained pictures of his previous life.

Chris sighed sadly, he woke up earlier because of a nightmare, well not a nightmare, it started nice enough. It was in a sort of living room and it felt familiar, both his parents were there, and they seemed happy. It was a bit hazy and he couldn't see their faces clearly but it felt amazing to be with them, even though it was just a dream. That was of course before it changed.

The sunny environment started to get darker, and a storm had started to brew. He didn't like storms or rain, it just made him uneasy, but that didn't stop him from watching on, wanting to make sure everything would be alright, after all, it was just a dream. The cold winds blew through the house. The wind got stronger and the walls of the house cracked.

His heart was beating fast as he thought about what to do, but then it was gone, he simply woke up. And thankfully it wasn't screaming or crying, but the uneasy feeling lingered and he didn't know what to do with that. He desperately wanted that happy feeling back, so here he was with the box in his hands, and still he wasn't ready to open it. He was scared, scared of the sadness and hurt that came with it.

Chris looked at the box in his shaking hands, the blue and red colors around him helped, it made it seem more unreal. He glanced at his rocket nightlight and felt a bit more at ease. He had gotten the little light shaped in a rocket from his granddad, and he loved it. It was red, and white with blue wings and during difficult nights it was a little beacon, it let him know people cared about him.

He took a shaky breath. He wanted to see their faces again, he should just be brave and do this, he could if he wanted. He lifted the top of the box slowly revealing the contents. The first thing that caught his eye was a picture of them together, and when he saw them standing there, he let out a sob.

They looked so happy and it broke the boy's heart, another sob escaped from him, as he quickly wiped away the starting tears, the darker images appeared again, another sob broke and he tried to block it but they only became worse. He couldn't control his sobs and tears anymore, he buried his face in his pillow as he sobbed.

Hawkeye heard the soft sobbing far away in his mind, he was still asleep but the sound urged him to wake up, he heard it often enough to know he needed to wake up. He groaned and stirred in his sleep as he forced one eye open. He didn't see his son on the cot next to him, his eyes closed again as he drifted a little in his subconscious mind. The sobbing continued and Hawkeye forced both eyes to open and focus on the room. Where Chris was, he heard him and it seemed like the child needed him.

With a loud groan he sat up, he looked around and saw his son huddled on the floor hugging his pillow as he sobbed. The sight of it broke his heart,  he couldn’t even imagine how hurt he was. He stood up and walked over to him carefully trying not to startle him, he slowly lowered himself down next to his son and pulled him into his arms. He ran his fingers through his son's hair stroking him softly.

Sidney had told him that Chris will have to set his own pace in dealing with his parents' deaths and that he should support that, letting the boy set the pace but he wished it didn't have to happen in the middle of the night after a ten-hour shift of surgery. He didn't mind but he would've liked to sleep a bit longer.