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[WORD COUNT: 4.4k!]
'your hearts in the ground frozen over'
▹ ◃
The days that had passed since then slipped by like a breeze. was odd, leaving an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach each time your eyes drifted away from the TV screen and out the windows of your French doorway. Much like a sickness, it refused to shed.
Your apartment was a mess, and it had only taken three days to get this way. Three days that all now seemed to blend into one.
Day one had been the strangest. After Peter left you standing in the hallway alone you were left weighing out your options. Still left sparse of clues you stood there for a moment wondering back over everything that had been said and done, every word, every touch, every lingering glance. It was as if now there was nothing there as if you had been... almost broken up with... and you weren't even entirely 'exclusive'. For the majority of that evening, you formed into what can only be described as a couch potato, before soon transitioning to the safety of your bed sheets. Your head had never felt quite so heavy on the pillow that night as you tucked yourself up in the darkness. Your clothes still lingered with the faintest smell of dampness and Peter, each to their bringing no comfort, but you seized the urge to get changed. You couldn't muster the courage to step foot out of bed right now.
Day two rolled around painfully slow, like watching the leading end of a chalk strip travel along the length of a dusty blackboard. You spent most of your night staring straight into the wall, watching as the room surrounding you burst into tiny little black dots and all too soon you were consumed in darkness. It parted from time to time, sending you crashing back to earth with that sinking feeling in your stomach and the agonising weight in your chest. You felt hot and sweaty but shivers of cold crawled their way up the length of your spine just as well. You took several deep breaths what felt like every minute, but nothing seemed to soothe the angst.
There was nothing, not a single peep, and all of a sudden it was like those few days all over again... The days when he ceased to exist as if stripped from humanity completely. By morning you were still consumed by silence, and something in your brain finally ticked, notioning to act upon something you should have done a long time ago.
Ever since losing your parents, there had always been something that lingered, something you had always been too shy to address. Shy was an easy word to use, more like too painfully traumatised to even consider walking into a place that you hadn't visited since everything happened... Your parent's home. Your home. It had been subsequently passed down in your name, yet all this time you had continued as though it was just another shadow on that quiet street in downtown Queens.
You spent your day emailing realtors and getting in touch with your landlord, followed by emailing your resignation from the college you had been attending. If you were going to make a move on this forever-changing chess board, you were going to make big. After clicking send and closing your laptop at nearly midnight, you spent the first few fresh hours of the third day cleaning up your apartment. A cigarette smudged between your lips you passed the time like a maid on molly. By four am it looked practically brand new.
