opportunity |H.S|

• twenty eight •

I don't wanna lose your touch, I don't wanna
hurt this much,

I can feel you slipping away
____

Dorothea Abram

It's been hours since I left Harry.

At least I think it's been hours... It feels like it's been hours.

It's still raining but it's now dark, the sun having retired for the day and nothing but the moon and the stars illuminate the sky.

I didn't have Mr. Collins take me home afterwards, instead I had him drop me off in town. He was hesitant to leave me as I can only imagine how distraught I must have been when I ran back towards the car but I insisted.

I just wanted to be somewhere I felt safe and home was anything but that even with Mother and Father gone.

I ended up in the one place that has always provided me the escape I needed.

The meadows. My field.

As it was still pouring I had propped myself against the wall of one of the buildings with a small ledge to shield the rain from hitting me, and I sat.

I looked out at the flowers from afar and how each raindrop dripped down from their petals.

For hours that's what I did.

I didn't think, I just watched.

Nothing but the rain filled my senses.

Touch.

Smell.

Sight.

Hearing.

The rain drowned out every possible thought that I could have had and for a while I felt a small resemblance of peace.

Except some time between when the moon had taken its reign and the thunder began to roar, the emptiness I allowed myself to bask in transformed into the emotions I had tried to push back. Emotions that I still had no idea what to do with.

So I then channeled all of them onto the sky, a poor being unable to speak back to me, forced to endure my wrath when no one else would hear it.

I cursed the sky for how it could mock me at a time like this. It had been such a nice day, the sun was shining and everything had seemed so bright and promising when I had woken.

Until it turned on me just like everyone else.

It betrayed me, stripping me of a joy only the sun could provide, laughing at me as each raindrop that pelted my skin and taunting me with each clap of thunder off in the distance.

But of course none of this was truly mother nature's fault, I knew this. It was just a mere coincidence that the weather had gone to shit at the same time my mind had.

I walk up the stairs to my bedroom with a million thoughts running through my mind that I can no longer push away. I've had some time to process but now I want nothing more than to take a long shower and go to sleep. I just want today to be over with.

Walking into my room it's dark, as the whole house is. Not a single light is on. I close the door behind me and lean against it, closing my eyes and releasing a pent up sigh. I've never wanted to go to bed more in my life.

I want to wake up to a new day and forget anything ever happened. I want to wake up and everything will be the same as it was two years ago. Before I had experienced all the hurt, lies and pain that came with the truth.