The Bad Guys Crossover

Chapter 1

Snake: "Stop!"

Wolf: "I'll stop it if you just explain it to us because we don't..."

Red: "You're not listening. He said stop."

Snake: "Would you please just drop it?!"

Wolf: "Alright alright. Fine fine fine, consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground."

Snake: "Good."

Sulley: "And keep it on the ground."

The setting opens to 5 friends, Wolf, Snake, Sulley, Red, and Sly at a diner drinking coffee.

Wolf: "But I mean, come on. Everybody loves birthdays."

Snake: "Aauugghh!!"

Sly: "I don't see how it's not enjoyable for you."

Wolf: "You got decorations, you got balloons, you got parties, and cake!"

Sly: " All that is fun. And cake is the best part."

Snake: "Look! I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy."

Red: "I disagree with the last part, I think cake is great, but the rest is blah."

Wolf: "Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake."

Snake: "Guinea pig!"

Wolf: "Oh again with the guinea pig. I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig."

Snake: "Wrong!"

Sly: "Bad example, Wolf."

Snake: "Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air."

Wolf and Sly: "Air?"

Snake: "Yes, air."

Sulley: "Prove it."

Snake slurps at the air. "Mmm. Nice."

Wolf: "I don't know. They're a little uh, a little cute for my taste."

Snake: "That's what makes them so delicious. You're not just eating food, you're eating pure goodness. It's not about the pig, it's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level.

Red: "Wow. Thinking of that gave me chills."

Wolf stares at him for a few seconds. Then says, "So you can, you can taste air?"

Snake: "Ugh."

Sly: "I don't think he understood anything you said."

Wolf: "I did. But I mean, what else you got, Snake?"

Snake: "Forget about it!"

Wolf: "W-wait. Can you see color? Can you see sound?"

Sly: "Okay now you're getting stupid."

Snake: "Alright alright okay."

Wolf: "Cuz, we really should be capitalizing on these skills."

Snake: "Okay, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!"

Wolf: "Okay, okay."

Snake vomits an alarm clock then continues speaking. "Look at the time. 4pm. Now I know the exact moment our friendship died."

Wolf: (laughs) "Let's bounce."

Snake: "Yep."

Sulley: "Sounds like it's time for some more fun, right Sly?"

Sly: "You bet."

Snake swallows the alarm clock.

Wolf: "Taste's like, um, you're gonna stick me with the bill, again."