Lamborghini | Tony Stark

TWENTY SIX - HEART OF GOLD

The night before Tony was due to leave, neither he or Sasha got even a minute of sleep. The two of them lay beneath the covers tangled in one another's embrace, silence holding the room still while their rhythmic breathing with chests rising and falling was the only movement.

Sasha cried quietly and Tony let her, holding her as closely to him as humanly possible, unable to fall asleep. He had said those words now, uttered the phrase he could never take back and would never wish to, though it made the thought of losing something now known to the universe that much more painful.

Despite them both laying awake staring at the blue and black city skyline, the morning dawned far quicker than they thought it would, sunrise blinding them as their stomachs sank and heart rates increased.

Few words were exchanged as Tony got ready that morning, showering quickly and finding Sasha pulling on one of his sweatshirts to wear instead of her own clothes. He smiled as he watched her fix her hair, now noticing the small things like the way she tilted her head when she put her earrings in more so than he ever had done before.

It was perhaps the most unfortunate timing possible for Tony's job to be pulled in the direction it was, stretching apart two people desperately in love with one another at the time they'd realised just how hard they'd fallen.

Tony didn't say goodbye, choosing to say see you later instead. He hated the idea of planting doubt in Sasha's mind that their parting would be for definite, even though he knew she'd spent hours driving herself insane with that exact torturous thought all on her own. Still, he tried his best to reassure her, and letting her know he very much intended on seeing her again was the only way he could do that.

Deciding which kiss would be their last for the time being was the hardest part. Each time Tony pulled his lips away from Sasha's, he felt himself unable to not kiss her again, her watery eyes and soft pout acting as some kind of inhuman magnetism he couldn't overrule, his hands attached to her waist and his eyes fixed on hers, their souls feeling like one instead of two in that moment.

"It's okay," Sasha whispered, brushing her fingertips delicately across his cheeks, her eyes pouring with love so much it made Tony's heart ache, "You can go."

And so, Tony did. He left her with a requited I love you, and a weak smile that even he couldn't bring himself to fake more convincingly. He felt his soul shatter and heart crumble to pieces inside his chest as he walked away from her, though no matter how much he wanted to turn back and look at her just one more time, he knew that if he did, he wouldn't be able to walk away again.

Sasha felt numb for the first few days without Tony. She carried on her life as normal, working late hours at the office and starting earlier in the morning than usual. She'd gotten used to getting a call from Tony at around five PM every day, asking whether she wanted steak or chicken for dinner and what kind of wine she fancied that particular evening.

They'd fallen into a routine, one that Sasha felt comfortable in. She still had her independence and career, but Tony had found a way to fit into her life perfectly, now unable to imagine what things had been like before she fell asleep next to him and woke up to a cup of coffee on the bedside table.

Sasha didn't want to know the details of Tony's job, and she was sure he would've refused to tell her if she'd asked, anyway. Ignorance was bliss, Sasha initially thought, though it turned out that not knowing anything at all was just as horrendous as knowing everything.

She kept herself awake at night wondering where Tony was and what he was doing, praying to any God that listened for him to be alive and safe. What made it worse was that Sasha had no idea just how long he'd be gone for. Each day felt longer than the last and the fact she had no days to cross off on a calendar with a date to look forward to made the entire situation ten times more horrendous.