Lamborghini | Tony Stark

FIFTY - STARTING OVER

"I feel like I shouldn't have done it. I don't want him to think everything's going back to the way it was right away, you know?"

Sasha was nursing a beer at the bar of O'Shea's while the heavens opened outside, rain making the city almost invisible, drowning it in grey shade and thunder rolling in the distance.

The bar was quiet that evening which meant Robbie was on hand to give his friend all the advice he possibly could. Sasha had been calling in at O'Shea's regularly to update Robbie on the events of her life, though he had noticed she never seemed to look as happy sitting alone as she did sitting opposite a certain Mr Stark.

"Plenty of people sleep together on a first date, Sash. If you're really wanting to start over, you're doing it the right way, don't worry."

She just sighed and sipped her beer, her hand curved around the handle of the glass while she occasionally stole glances up at the television to check the latest baseball scores.

"I'm just worried he's going to forget about everything that happened. I'm not the same as I was before, I wake up from nightmares and can't fall back to sleep. I rented an apartment with no neighbours and got a triple lock on my door, my memory is getting worse because of everything that's going on in my head. Things I could remember last week, I can't remember now. I go to cook dinner or walk to the store and I can't remember which direction to go or which brand of olive oil I use. He thinks I'm the same, he thinks we're the same, but we're not, I'm not."

Robbie knew Sasha was very much a closed book, and so he felt an immense sense of trust yet also pressure whenever Sasha confided in him. There were only ever a handful of people Sasha opened up to, and the way she looked across the bar with helpless eyes and an unstable frown made Robbie's heart break.

He had watched Sasha lose her brother, lose the man she loved, her home, and herself. It was more loss than any human should ever have to endure, but somehow Sasha remained stood on her feet, able to keep walking forward.

She was strong, anybody who met her knew that within the first five minutes of speaking to her, but it was clear to Robbie now that she was being worn down by the weight of the world and everything in it.

"Have you told him this? How you feel?"

Sasha shook her head, "I haven't seen him since that night we went out. I moved into my new apartment and I've been working every day since trying to get back into my routine at the office, I haven't had the time."

Sasha probably didn't have the time, but Robbie also knew that she used work as a distraction from things she didn't want to face, and talking about her problems was definitely one of those things.

"The guy loves you, he'll understand. Don't you want his support, his love? One sec."

Sasha mulled over Robbie's question while he served another customer. It sounded a ridiculous question to ask, of course Sasha wanted Tony's love and support, she craved it in endless amounts and spent wishes on stars asking for it. The problem was, she didn't want to face the problems herself, being more comfortable brushing them aside.

That had always worked in the past when she was alone and didn't have to consider anybody else's thoughts or feelings, but it wasn't just her now. She thought about Tony night and day, when she was awake and in her dreams, and now she's officially let him back into her life, there was no taking a step backwards.

Sasha's problems, worries and concerns all had a knock on effect towards her relationship with Tony, meaning that no matter how much she wanted to ignore them and push them aside like she usually would, she had to face them head on.