Say You Won't Let Go

Aviation Basics

Three days later Abigail stood with her feet planted in the concrete, her eyes glued to the F-18 that was taunting her. Jake was on one side of her, Rooster on the other.

     "We're gonna do it, Abby. We're gonna get you up into that beautiful blue sky where you belong." Jake exclaims, but Abigail heard none of it. Her hands were clammy, and she felt as if she were going to pass out.

     Even the burning California heat did nothing to her extremely pale face. It took her a few minutes, but she finally swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. "Let's try it." She says hesitantly, looking from her best friend to her husband.

     Taking the first step towards that plane was hard, and she felt stupid that she couldn't even stand to get near the freaking piece of metal.

      Thankfully, the two men understood how hard this was going to be for her, so they were being extremely patient and calm. Abigail was already three steps closer to meeting the goal.

       Soon she was standing in the shadow of the F-18 fighter plane, and her entire body was shaking out of pure fear. Its not the plane, it's the pilot. The pilot needs to be calm and collected, and this will be a piece of cake. But her brain refuses to believe those thoughts she was forcing herself to hear.

     "What do you do first, Abby? How do you get up into the cockpit?" Rooster asks, squinting under the sun. She doesn't know why he doesn't come join her and Jake in the shade.

     Abigail glances up at the intimidating yet beautiful plane. Usually she'd jump up onto the wing, but she probably couldn't do that now because of her prosthetic leg. She glanced at the handle that would bestow the ladder. She turned to her mustached friend with her answer. "Pull the ladder down and climb up." She replies, feeling like she was back in aviation basics. That was ten years ago, which really showed how much she regressed.

     Rooster nods to the plane, telling her to do what she had just said. Abigail's feet didn't want to move again, her chest feeling like it was tightening. Jake rubs her shoulder as she took more deep breaths. Shaking her arms, she nodded assuringly to herself as she reluctantly walked over to the ladder handle.

     The metal bars lower to the ground and she places her hand on the one that was just above her head. She can do this. She can do this.

     Abigail places the first foot on the step, the metal creaking. The sound makes her flinch and nearly back off, but Jake was giving her a supportive look.

      Next leg goes up, and her entire body freezes. This time she really couldn't breathe, her throat constricting. Her hands became even more clammy to the point where she could hardly hold onto the metal bars.

    Rooster and Hangman immediately take action, pulling her down from the ladder and urging her to take a seat on the ground. Tears of frustration filled her eyes, threatening to drop. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't move. And the ringing of her ears reminded her of how she woke up in the snow right after the crash.

      She no longer saw the runway that was scorching under the radiating sun, she saw the blood. She could smell the smoke and feel the cold snow that had turned her cheeks pink.

      "Abby!" Rooster's voice pulled her out of the flashback. Him and Jake were huddled close to her, their faces within a few inches of hers. The pure fear she saw in both of their faces made her heart hurt. She couldn't keep doing this to them.

     "There she is." Jake sighs, dropping onto his bottom beside Abigail. He places a hand over hers.

     Rooster stood up, watching Abigail's face closely. "Looks like we'll have to split the one goal into multiple. First goal, get past the ladder." He says a little more lightly, going over to the F-18 and putting the ladder back up. It was mutually agreed that they would pick back up tomorrow, Abigail had enough today.